Friday, November 28, 2008

Commerical Songs

No I'm not talking about Top 40 songs but actual songs used in commericials.
I just finished watching the new Adidas Originals Commericaial and am so feelin the song. The group is called Pilooski and the song is an old 60's song (Four Seasons group)that they add a breakin beat to. I tried to find it on itunes, found the group but not this song. Grrr The whole video for the song is on youtube but I attached the commericial version to put it in context.

So that search led me to list a few other commericial songs I adore.

Yael Namin- New Soul

Ting Tings- Shut Up and Let Me Go

Cait Ladee- Take Me Home

Enur- Calabria 2008

Got any favorites?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I hate everyone

No, I'm not pmsing. Sometimes I just get that way, when everything bugs me and I've got no escape from the annoying. I close one door on an annoying person just to turn around and have another one starring right at me.

This is the time of the year to be thankful but no working at a soup kitchen or listening to sad all I want for Christmas stories on the radio can change how I feel right now. I'm just in an extended funk and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever truly came out of it. For example was I simply just in remission from anger at some point?

I know that I need a vacation away from people when even the most non important things get on my nerves, when the usual bothers make me want to pick up a trash can and scream "Radio" (for all those who've seen Do the Right Thing, you know what I mean) and the really bothersome things make me want to tase and/or mace people. I've asked for mace for Christmas but I wonder if in my hands it will be used for good instead of evil.

Okay, so let me categorize the things that get on nerves.

Stupid but bothersome

The plot line on Heroes and Grey's Anatomy upsets me in ways I can't understand.

I just watched really good episodes of Smallville and Supernatural on the CW network and they won't have new episodes until mid January- they get the finger! Bammas!

My expensive Verizon "high speed" Internet isn't fast at ALL!

My landlord is about to catch a foot. When something breaks down don't tell me how to fix it, you come and fix it! If I have to break apart something to get it to work, it's out of my league. Do your job or give me my deposit back!

One of my coworkers keeps wanting to have conversations with me everyday and is bothersome to many. I don't really like her (nor do I trust her, why does she go through my cubicle sometimes when I'm not there, we don't work on any of the same projects and she isn't my back up) but I can't say that and it really is mean to think that way but...

Trash can moments

My job, my team lead got an agency award that should have been a team award because she is not a leader or a good source of guidance. I had to basically train myself and she goes to ME for answers! Meanwhile, I got no award, no real time off and haven't gone to any out of state trainings or get to rotate which my white counterpart got to do and she wasn't as good a worker as I was (yeah, I'm tooting my own horn). Don't let me file an EEO claim!

Thanksgiving dinner with family and their friends- don't wanna go. Some will surely annoy me and with me being in the titled mood, I'm going to have to hold tight to patience.

Another guy I'm seeing, seemed a bit disappointed that I was taking things slow (not the same as the taser guy below). Since when did third date automatically lead to sex? We don't even know each other's last names! No wonder MD has a high rate of STDs! AIDS is the number one killer of black women in my age group- kick rocks. Let's take our time, to quote Ms. Janet!

Upstairs neighbor was blasting hard rock and sounded like they were river dancing at 1130pm on a Sunday night. I stormed up there to politely complain. I expected it to be a woman who I thought lived above me but instead was scared half to death when what appeared to be a Marilyn Manson fan answered the door. He was polite enough but my tone was really pleasant as well. Note to self- don't knock on doors if you don't know who the hell lives there!

Tasing moments

A guy thought it was okay to try to grope me on the end of our date. I let him know I was not down with it and preferred to take things slow (see rationale above) which he didn't seem to respect too much (gave a half assed "I understand") but I said goodbye and left. (A week later he asked me out again...via text. My response- . ) Had I had a taser or some pepper spray the night would have gone differently (provided I had a gas mask so I didn't inhale the spray and was far enough from him to tase him without him grabbing me).

The immature dochebag who tried to grope me at the bar last weekend when I was two stepping with my friends and got on my nerves so bad I had to leave the dance floor or else stab him with my keys. What's with the disrespect? He proceeded to bother me again later on that night and I called him out on it. He walked away this time.

The ass who decided to park behind my building the other night and proceeded to loudly curse out someone on the phone for thirty minutes around 12am on a Wednesday night! If only I had a blow dart!

Okay enough complaining, I feel a little better already but things can surely change if that coworker I mentioned above keeps walking past my cubicle...

*Side note, is it sad that the title of this post comes from a children's book about an angry bee?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Did he Seriously Call Him a House Negro?

Okay, yet another a negative reaction to Obama's win from Al-Quida. The article isn't that long but to highlight, the number two leader of Al-Quida (an Islamic terrorist group) is unimpressed with Obama's win. He quoted some phrases from Malcolm X's speech pertaining to house slaves and field slaves. He called Obama ,along with Condi Rice and Colin Powell, house negros. He stated that Obama's support of Isreal shows that he is an ememy of Muslims and called for American Muslims to not believe the Obama hype (well not in those words but you get the picture).

So okay, I have to pause and say I am a bit surprised that this terrorist dude (don't much feel like using his name) even knows about Malcom's statements regarding this and knew how to use it (although I don't necessarily agree). It always surprises me how far the history of America's race relations travels but then again if I knew about South Africa's strife then why not others know about us?

Still, I hope other more sane Muslim countries are willing to give Obama a try.

On the flip side, this comes out around the same time Isreal is backing out of the UN World talks on Racism because they believe the focus will be biased and mostly on the treatment of Palestineans (Muslims) in Isreal. Which is a shame because the focus should be more balanced so that every group feels comfortable to talk. This issue is too big world wide to have people not all come to the table. As an aside, for reasons I don't know for sure, the US (who is also considering backing out of the talks) has always appeared to have sided with the Jewish community in Isreal ( a forever long battle over land that I could not even begin to try to figure out the right ones and wrong ones). I haven't looked into why but I'm sure it does nothing to aid in our relationships with Muslim dominated countries.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Music On My Mind This Month

Been a while but I got a couple of musical comments to make again.

First I must begin with Ms. Beyonce. Love your Single Ladies song (what a great work out tune) but your album- sorry BK just not feeling it- Sadness.

But on to what I do like:
A new group called The Script- Before the Worst - (adult contemporary mixed with a tinge of soul)

Kevin Little (with unfortunately Lil Wayne)- Let it Rock -

T.I. with Kanye, again that Lil Wayne, Jay Z and M.I.A.- Swagga (I'm a sucka for a rap compilation)-

Jack White and Alicia Keys- Another Way to Die (James Bond theme song)-
I'm always into the James Bond Songs (Diamonds are Forever- Shirely Bassy, Die Another Day- Madonna, Golden Eye-Tina Turner are some of my past favorite theme songs)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Obama wins and hate crimes rise: Who's surprised?

For all the talk of Obama's win meaning race relations have changed there is hidden talk of what this new "change" means for those really not ready to let go of the America's racist past.
I had to post this Yahoo article in it's entirety but if you don't have time to read it I did high light some sections of interest. From talk of sucession to the increase in those joining hate groups Obama's win will keep the government on thier toes in more areas than they thought. My feelings: sadness. It's really time to move on and get this country past the idea that race defines everything. Oddly enough the article quotes that some southern whites feel that the nation their forefather's built has now been stolen from them. *Sighs* Now you know just a little of how it feels to be Native American in this country. Not to mention that the alleged forefather's didn't build anything on their own. This land is, afterall, "our land and made for you and me" as the song goes. Won't they have many strokes, should they still be alive, when in 2040 they find themselves part of the minority in this country. Change is good. But, you can't please everyone and I saw...screw 'em. Hey, they can always immigrate to Mexico...

After Obama's win, white backlash festers in US

By Patrik Jonsson Patrik Jonsson – Mon Nov 17, 3:00 am ET

Atlanta – In rural Georgia, a group of high-schoolers gets a visit from the Secret Service after posting "inappropriate" comments about President-elect Barack Obama on the Web. In Raleigh, N.C., four college students admit to spraying race-tinged graffiti in a pedestrian tunnel after the election. On Nov. 6, a cross burns on the lawn of a biracial couple in Apolacon Township, Pa.
The election of America's first black president has triggered more than 200 hate-related incidents, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center – a record in modern presidential elections. Moreover, the white nationalist movement, bemoaning an election that confirmed voters' comfort with a multiracial demography, expects Mr. Obama's election to be a potent recruiting tool – one that watchdog groups warn could give new impetus to a mostly defanged fringe element.
Most election-related threats have so far been little more than juvenile pranks. But the political marginalization of certain Southern whites, economic distress in rural areas, and a White House occupant who symbolizes a multiethnic United States could combine to produce a backlash against what some have heralded as the dawn of a postracial America. In some parts of the South, there's even talk of secession.
"Most of this movement is not violent, but there is a substantive underbelly that is violent and does try to make a bridge to people who feel disenfranchised," says Brian Levin of the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism at California State University, San Bernardino. "The question is: Will this swirl become a tornado or just an ill wind? We're not there yet, but there's dust on the horizon, a swirling of wind, and the atmospherics are getting put together for [conflict]."
Though postelection racist incidents haven't posed any real danger to society or the president-elect, law enforcement is taking note.
"We're trying to be out there at the cutting edge of this and trying to stay ahead of groups that are emerging," says Special Agent Darrin Blackford, a spokesman for the Secret Service, which guards the US president.
"Anytime you start seeing [extremist propaganda] floating around, you have to be concerned," adds Lt. Gary Thornberry of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, a member of the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force. "As far as it being an alarmist situation, I don't see that yet. From a law enforcement point of view, you have to be careful, because it's not illegal to have an ideology."
After sparking conflict and showdowns in the 1990s – think Ruby Ridge, Waco, the Oklahoma City bombing – white supremacist and nationalist groups began this century largely splintered and powerless. Though high immigration levels helped boost the number of hate groups from 602 in 2000 to 888 in 2007, key leaders of such groups had died, been imprisoned, or were otherwise marginalized.
But postelection, at least two white nationalist websites – Stormfront and the Council of Conservative Citizens – report their servers have crashed because of heavy traffic. The League of the South, a secessionist group, says Web hits jumped from 50,000 a month to 300,000 since Nov. 4, and its phones are ringing off the hook.
"The vitriol is flailing out shotgun-style," says Mr. Levin. "They recognize Obama as a tipping point, the perfect storm in the narrative of the hate world – the apocalypse that they've been moaning about has come true."
Supremacist propaganda is already on the upswing. In Oklahoma, fringe groups have distributed anti-Obama propaganda through newspapers and taped it to home mail boxes. Ugly incidents such as cross-burnings, assassination betting pools, and Obama effigies are also being reported from Maine to Alabama.
The Ku Klux Klan has been tied to recent news events, as well. Two Tennessee men implicated for plotting to kill 88 black men, including Obama, were tied to the KKK chapter whose leader was convicted in a civil trial in Brandenburg, Ky., last week, for inciting violence. The murder last week in Louisiana of a KKK initiate, allegedly killed after trying to back out of joining, came at the hands of a new group called Sons of Dixie, authorities say.
"We're not looking at a race war or anything close to it, but ... what we are seeing now is undeniably a fairly major backlash by some subset of the white population," says Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center's Intelligence Report in Montomgery, Ala. "Many whites feel that the country their forefathers built has been ... stolen from them, so there's in some places a real boiling rage, and that can only become worse as more people lose jobs."
In an election in which barely 20 percent of native Southern whites in Deep South states voted for Obama, the newly apparent political clout of "outsiders" and people of color has been unnerving to some.
"In states like Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama, there was extraordinary racial polarization in the vote," says Merle Black, a political scientist at Emory University in Atlanta. "Black Americans really do believe that Obama is going to represent their interests and views in ways that they haven't been before, and, in the Deep South, whites feel exactly the opposite."
But for nonviolent secessionist groups like the League of the South, the hope is for a more vigorous debate about the direction of the US and the South's role in it, says Michael Tuggle, a League blogger in North Carolina.
Mr. Tuggle says his group isn't looking for an 1860-style secession but, rather, a model that Spain, for one, is moving toward, in which "there's a great deal of autonomy for constituent regions" – a foil to what is seen as unchecked, dangerous federal power in Washington.
"To a lot of people, the idea of secession doesn't seem so crazy anymore," says Tuggle. "People are talking about how left out they feel, ... and they feel that something strange and radical has taken over our country."

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Deal Breakers

Yes, yet another post on dating. Now that the election is over I can go back to the more important things in life (kidding!).

In dating and relationships what are some things, superficial or deeper, that you cannot deal with at all?

Here are a few on my list:


Unemployed guy -I don’t want to be anyone’s suga mama
Guy with no car -we are not in New York and I don’t like being a chauffer all the time
Guy with baby mama drama -I prefer a guy with no kids but I am absolutely out if he can’t seem to develop an appropriate relationship with the mother of his child or doesn’t pay child support
Guy who can’t speak proper English -he must have at least graduated high school and can carry an educated conversation without sounding like Damon Wayne’s convict character from In Living Color
No ex or current convicts- Unless you were a political prisoner (and even then) this is a no go
No drug addicts/alcoholics- this is very bad drama here
Must not be married -should go without saying but goes to even those who are separated unless it’s been almost a year which is the time you have to wait to get a no fault divorce, anything sooner is just well, too soon
Effeminate men- If we see a bug in the corner of the room and your scream is louder than mine we have a problem.
Socially uncouth- Sorry can’t continue to date a guy who picks his nose in front of me or belches or farts without excusing himself. Can’t be messy or gross.


Obese guys -a few extra pounds aren’t too bad and can easily be shed but a man who has boobs larger than mine or can’t go on a hike with me because he loses breath too quickly is a no go
A guy who can’t see straight -I’m sorry I just can’ date a cock eyed guy, throws me off
Bad kisser- I’m actually mixed on this one. If a guy sets his ego aside and you say it gently enough you can kind of help him out, hopefully, otherwise it’s a no go
Guys who are too old or two young- age ain’t nothing but a number but there is a limit. I can’t date someone old enough to be my dad (vomits in mouth a little) or young enough to be a cast member in High School Musical nor am I into the whole cougar thing (although I’m a long way from that yet)
Smelly guys- gotta be able to breathe when I’m around you, no compromise on that
Bad teeth- I’m talking horrendous here, you don’t need a perfect set of pearly whites but no missing front teeth, no grills, no mangled-been -eating -rocks teeth
Short men- now I’m short so my definition is a little more open. The man simply cannot be shorter than or as tall as me in flats.

Tolerable things that you can change later on (that isn’t under the whole you can’t change a man theory)

Bad dresser -buy him only clothes for his birthday and Christmas, he won’t complain if he looks good in them or just go shopping with him
Balding -encourage him to shave it all off but as he gets older (say over 45) this just comes with the territory, dating a 20/early 30 something with George Jefferson hair is not cute.
Hairy -unless he looks like one of those Gieco guys this isn’t really a deal breaker, at the most encourage him to shave

What’s on your list?

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Dating Game: Perfection vs. Flaws

It's been a while since I did a post on dating but I had some random thoughts. I've written about the whole chemistry vs. practicality bit and have come to a realization through all my dating trials and tribulations that I prefer good conversation and not necessarily any overwhelming chemistry on the first couple or few dates. Chemistry is important but sometimes it can be deceptive and throw you off track. I'm not saying if you don't feel the slightest bit of attraction to someone wait it out. If the person visually doses nothing for you, you aren't going to want to continue dating them, it'll seem more like work than fun. And chemistry exisit for a reason.

Call me jaded, but I just don't like the idea of getting swept up in chemistry. The idea, for me, is to really get a chance to see the person and gain a solid connection. Stay clear headed enough to not fall for the "hype" and, instead, see the real. Again, this is ideal but not always the case.

I have had several coworkers and friends warn me about men that are full of the "hype" aka do every thing perfectly. They say if you meet a guy who you have little complaints about and who knows how to romance you above and beyond the norm then something is wrong. Now initially it would seem like such a pessimistic view to assume that if everything is right something, therefore, must be wrong. But they had a certain logic to their views (and these are all women who are older and married who said this). The thought is that a "perfect man" is actually a player. He knows women, knows their wants and knows how to give it to them. They study women. They gave me several real life examples. The worst being a woman who bragged about how wonderful her husband was, how they never argued and how he always did great things for her. She later found out he had a whole seperate family somewhere else. Another example, was the woman who had a boyfriend of three years who did and said all the right things, said he wanted to marry her, took her house hunting. She found out he had a woman in several states.

The point they were making is that a "good/faithful" man is one who comes with a few flaws. He may not know all the ways to make a woman happy and that you'll have to school him- ever so lovingly of course. They weren't stating that you change him. He'll be who he'll be. Rather the change will be in how he treats you. For instance, one coworker stated that she mentioned to her husband that she loves flowers. Speaking in generalities, the player would know this instantly and show up with flowers on a date. The average good guy might need that message gently repeated several times before he follows through. It took him a very long time but her husband eventually got it.

I said to her, this seems like work. She replied, yes it is but the outcome is worth it. It's a practice in tolerance and patience.

Her advise echoed a bit of the adivse from the author of the book Why Men Cheat, Gary Neuman who also appeared on Oprah. Neuman stated that men, in general, like to feel appriciated and want to feel useful and be praised. When they don't get that, they sometimes cheat. Some women felt that this seemed like a lot of work. To praise a man for taking out the trash? Women don't expect such praise. The Neuman admitted that it wasn't fair but he, like my coworker, simply acknowleged that although men may be physically stronger than women in many ways they can be emotionally more sensitive. I'll preserve my opinions on that but I will say the logic seems sound.

Therefore, per my coworkers logic, if you let a guy know how what he does can help you for the better, rather than nagging or not saying anything, he will be more inclined to do it. He will feel like he is appriciated and helpful and you get what you want. It's a simple give and take really. Not so simple is that you have to constantly work at it. My coworker, inisist that you cannot expect a man to be something or do something, watch out for those she says. If you want to be romanced, tell him what you like. If you don't carry the expectations you won't be let down and you won't pass over a good guy who doesn't mind learning about what you like.

Sound advice but it's so hard for women to hear when we've been raised on fairy tales where men just know what to do.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yes We Can- Yes We Did- Yes We Must...

Oh so many things going on in my head right now and I don't want to ramble so I'll be organized!

Obama Won- First Black President!

If there are any young people out there still thinking that the "man" is keeping us down and we can never reach our dreams, stop it now! Now, I'm real enough to know that this doesn't mean racism is dead. I work in civil rights law, unfortunately (but fortunately I have a job) prejudice is keeping me employed. However if this isn't a major step in the rethinking of America what is? Obama got more votes from white America than even Gore or John Kerry did.

And while I admit, I was late to the bandwagon and was initially a Clinton supporter when she lost I had no problems with moving on and doing my part to help change come. And so did many Americans. I waited in an hour and a half line to vote and I would have waited much much longer for this vote! People were crying and others screams of joys as they voted. This was powerful!

The Reaction

When my mother woke me up to tell me he won (I refused to follow and be mislead by the media still healing from the Gore v. Bush wounds where I went to bed with Gore the projected winner and woke up with Bush!) I turned on the TV and many channels were showing the black reaction. People in tears (including Jesse Jackson and Oprah). I started tearing up as well at the possibilities this meant. I hope this places some type of change on the black community and how we treat each other and achieve success.

But this isn't just a black triumph, after all he couldn't have won with just our vote. He got most of the Hispanic and young vote. And as Solidad Obrien pointed out last night, this vote was a clear indicator of what our world is to become in 2050 where minorities as a group will be the majority in this country if we work together. Obama got the majority of the minority vote and that helped him win. The most recent number I've heard so far as to the percentage of the white vote he received was about 44% so it's clear to understand the power of the vote to other minority groups, something it appears McCain (who did a very humble and positive speech last night) might have took for granted.

But all his supporters were joyous as I flipped through the TV stations and saw the diversity in the crowds all over the country and world (people were jumping up and down in Paris, London, Japan, Kenya!). I live in a mostly white neighborhood in the city with a make up of mostly young art students, gay men, young professionals and wealthy people. From about 11-1am last night (at least until I fell asleep) I heard car honkings and cries of joy through the streets. This win transcends color. How encouraging.

Yes We Must

Obama's speech indicated that change hadn't finished and we must all sacrifice a little to help. I'm fine with that. I only hope others understand that change won't come overnight and it won't come easy. I can't help but feel he'll be judged a little stronger than past presidents but I'm hoping people are patient and give him a real fighting chance.

I also hope he has the best security ever invented. I'm talking, protective snipers on roofs, hidden body guards in the audience, bullet proff windows. Heck if he could walk around with a force shield on I'd feel better. Somewhere in the back of mind while watching him on stage last night with no body guards with him, I couldn't help but worry about some fool assassinating him. Even before he won there were plots on his life. Let's hope/pray/wish that this time our history will be different and better.

Now I'm going to go listen to some Sam Cook "Change going to come"

Monday, November 3, 2008

A life changing vote

I heard this on the radio this morning and had to share/comment if you didn't hear about it.
A woman by the name of Amanda (forgot the last name) who was born in 1899 and the child of a slave just voted yesterday at the age of 109. Can you imagine all that she has lived through? From the immediate effects of slavery, to Jim Crow to MLK to the possibility of a black president?

I would think she never imagined in her life time and the type of injustices she has surely seen that she could imagine an election such as this!

And not just on a racial front, she was a woman and women did not receive the right to vote until about 1920 so she lived through disenfranchisement to the (hopefully not) possibility of a female vice president, not to mention a democratic presidential campaign where the top candidates was a woman and a black man. What a real life progression for her!

I believed that in my lifetime I would see a minority or female president but I thought I would be much much older. On the show, the DJ said the smallest children of today will only know, at least for the first four to eight years of their lives, a minority president or a female vice president. The hope is that they see that and truly believe that anything is possible and hopefully to be more tolerant of one another.

I can only hope what having a black president would do for the image of the black man. People in our generation didn't have an MLK or Malcolm or WEB Duboise and so forth to look up to. Our biggest successes were athletes and rappers (even the respected actors like Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington or Don Cheadle don't have the kind of clout that Diddy or Micheal Jordan has). This effects what our young aspire to be (speaking in generalities). What would it mean to have the most powerful black man be president? Would this make a difference, if even a small one, on the black, particularly male, youth? Hopefully we will get a chance to see...

*get's off soap box*