So after over hearing my parents and step mother discuss my single status (apparently a favoite pastime that may be in part perpetuated by the fear that I will never bear them grandchildren) I felt the need to vent. I'm single yes, and while I don't have the urge to throw on a white dress and sprint to the altar just yet, being a part of a stable satisying relationship is desirable. But it is what it is as I told my brother who also inquires whether "I have a man". Then there are my coworkers who, for the most part, are all married and a few have expressed the desire to be on the "look out" for me. I shrugg my shoulders- what can you do. As I've posted before- the odds of a successful open minded black woman finding love, while not quite on winning the lottery chances, is still hard to achieve. And one like me who finds interest in things that don't seem "typical" of a black woman and, therefore, would like to find a mate who is the same, makes me feel like finding love is on the same line as getting hit by lighting.
I've made my efforts, gone out, joined social groups, online dating (I joined as a "social experiement and find it isn't soley for freaks although there are some of them, anyway, I'd recommend it), changed my usual MO when I go out. All to no avail. I've even heavily contemplated moving because my area leaves much to be desired in the eligible bachelor realm (we were afterall named one of the fattest, uglist cities in some magazines in the past). But I think, good things come to those who wait and I don't stress. You just can't control this type of thing. It doens't hang up on looks or personality (there are plenty of unattractive (although thats subjective right?) and mean people who are in relationships). It's just how the proverbial dice is rolled. But until then, I'll go on my random dates, hang with my friends, do a little traveling, focus on my writing and just keep things moving and being the person I hope I was intended to be- what else you going to do?
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