Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Random things some men do that bug me

I was inspired by The Girl From Park Heights to write this from her post "Some Men are so Damn Oblivious".

Okay, please don’t think me stuck up or a b*&%# but sometimes I can't help but get annoyed when a guy:

1) Knows my full name without me ever giving it to them. See I’m hardly a celebrity so please don’t be upset when it bothers me when you know my FULL NAME and yet I’ve never seen you before! Case in point- a certain security guard recently told me good night using my full name, including the Ms. and all, the other day when I was leaving the office. I respond back politely, then in a panic, I look at him, not knowing the face, I ask “ how do you know my name?” he responds “I saw it this morning when I checked your badge for you to enter the premises.” I nod and leave, a little uneasy. This has happened to me before. There must be at least a thousand people in this building yet you remembered mine! I am not comforted by this at all! (I'll admit this may be because I'm just not that into the guy but still.. )

2) Call me or stop by my domicile without me ever giving you my number or address to place of residency! This has happened to me several times. How'd you get this info buddy? I find it very unsettling. There are surprise visits and then there's stalking...

3) Men with girlfriends/wives/or any significant other- leave me be! Unless we work together, were the best of friends before your marriage, are on the same sports team or some kind of group activity please don’t bother me. I am uncomfortable with you calling me, especially if I never gave you my number, asking me how things are. You are not one of my girlfriends, I don’t watch sports- so what is the purpose of your call? I'm confused. I’d like to avoid any implications of drama at all costs!

4) Which leads me to guys I used to date who contact me out of the blue. Here’s a tip-Don’t. If we haven’t talked since EnVoge was the best darn girl group out there then there’s a valid reason for that. Unless you’ve changed (and I’m not just talking clothing styles) why are you bugging me? And let me tell you people- that is never the case. So if you were an ass in 2001 and are still one now- guess what, my tolerance level hasn’t changed- still don’t wanna talk to you! Respect me enough to know that I deserve better than the jerk you were then and are now.

5) Tell me to smile and no picture taking is involved. Okay- leave me alone! You don’t know what is going on in my life as I walk down the street or hallway. I could have just lost my pet yet it’s all about you and I have to smile everywhere I go like the Chestire cat from Alice in Wonderland. No one is owed a smile. Yes, a smile draws people to you and if I’m in an environment where I want that attention then I’ll smile all day long (should I not be upset about that lost of my pet). But if I’m blue or somewhere I don’t want to be and don’t want to be bugged, acosted or assulted, I’m “mean mugging” till the break of dawn just to make sure I’m not bothered by some crazy fool.

6) When you ask me for my number and I tell you that I have a boyfriend/husband you keep pushing me. Here’s the deal if I were interested I would give you my number. If I was the type to cheat, which I’m not, I would say yes I have a man but here’s my number anyway. The fact that I’ve made a statement such as “I am married” to turn you down should be enough to keep you going. Please don’t make me state that I’m just not interested. I was trying to spare your feelings!

Okay, enough venting. I feel better now!

8 comments:

Eb the Celeb said...

I feel you on all of these...

Not Your Average Male said...

Okay, so here's the deal:

#1, #2 and #4 all involve being actively stalked or monitored in some way by a stranger -- I think you have more than enough right to be a tad disturbed and/or downright outraged.

#3 and #6 both involve people who don't respect relationships, period -- so even if you were to get with said "gentleman" (loosely applied, no doubt), who is to assure you that you would not be the next victim of this gray definition of commitment?

#5 is just a corny-ass line. I've never been a pick-up line kind of guy, but I assure you that this one would stay far away from the textured surface of my tongue. The sad thing is that there are a plethora of women who probably think it's cute that the guy noticed her not smiling and fall right into the trap. To them I say "step away from the cheese, bitch!"

(And by that I don't really mean any offense to anybody who has fallen for that neanderthal-like ploy).

CC Solomon said...

NYAM- Thank you, its good to hear a male perspective on this, especially one that agrees with me! Wasn't sure if I was being to harsh!

Diva's Thoughts said...

Girl...girl...girl!!!! you get a ^5 for that #5 on your list. I HATE when some random stranger comes up to me and asks me to smile. You don't know me or what I am going through at that moment so plese keep it moving.

Clever Elsie said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by at Singletude! I hope you'll visit again. You have a great blog. :)

I love, love, love this list and can relate to it 100%!

1) I suspect men think they're demonstrating their respect or being "friendly" when they address a woman by her full name, but I agree that it's a little too friendly. Every time a random guy knows my name, I wonder what else he knows, such as 2).

4) I really hate this one! If it's over, and we didn't mutually agree to be friends, it's over. Finished. Done. Lights off. Curtain closed. Now, if it's someone I just lost touch with unintentionally, it might be a pleasant surprise. But too often, these calls come from guys who realize too late that they lost a good thing and want another chance...especially when their gf of the moment has left them high and dry. Inevitably, they start shooting the breeze like we just had a chat last week when our last chat was a screaming match after the cheater or liar or whoever was caught in the act. They assume time has healed old wounds and proceed with not even an apology.

5) Yes! It trivializes my feelings and tells me that if the guy is arrogant enough to assume he knows how I should feel, he's too arrogant to make a good partner.

Anonymous said...

Girl I'm with you on the smile part. I HATE when men say, "You are too pretty to not be smiling..." I HATE that!!!
Other than that, girl, I have never had a man stop by my house. You must really have a following!

CC Solomon said...

Jenice, thankfully that only happened once. But the people calling me (at work or on my cell) has happened many a time.

Lady Dulayne said...

All of those get on my nerves. I just really don't like any guy, on any street, to approach me for nothing.

Period. Keep on moving.