Valentine's Day!!!! Yea Me!

Yes, I am single and no other day shows you the negative side of that more than Valentine ’s Day. But I won’t sit here and bash V-day saying how it’s pointless and over hyped (hey, your significant other should celebrate your love everyday, right) because in all honestly, if I got a Valentine’s gift from someone I liked I’d be excited. So instead of hating I’ll take this time to turn the negatives of being single and going through endless dating to positives in honor of V-day:

1) The “great” guy or girl you met who “disappears” and you never hear from them again. Instead of saying “(s)he’s just not that in to you” I prefer to think he’s dead. The circumstance is tragic and yet there is nothing you could have done differently. Death happens to the best of us. You’re still fabulous. But it’s sad, so sad, what with them dying and all.

2)The bad date. So the guy/girl didn’t win the genetic lottery or he did but he has the personality of a mosquito. Hey, at least you got to step out and get some much need fresh air and hey, practice makes perfect.

3)He/She comes with more baggage than Britney Spears, Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson combined. Yes, run, don’t walk away. But think of this, God only gives you as much as you can handle. So when you meet Mr./Ms. Right and you find they have explosive diarrhea, it’s not a deal breaker because you’ve been around much worse.

4)They can’t speak proper English or have no clue of how to act in an adult relationship. Take it upon yourself to teach them but don’t get involved. Maybe they’ll make a movie from your story of helping the dating down trodden. (Don’t) Lean on Me? Freedom (Daters)? Dangerous (Dating) Minds? I'm just saying...

5) No special someone to give you gifts on holidays or perhaps they “disappear” around those times (only to reappear later). Don’t sweat it. You’re saving money (especially you guys). You can put that birthday/Valentines/Christmas gift money towards paying for a house, going on vacation, buying those shoes you wanted. And if they reappear… each one teach one, get them the same thing they got you- nothing! Susan Orman would be proud of the money you’re saving!

6)He only wants you as a bootie call and/or touches you inappropriately before those boundaries should be crossed. Don’t get angry. Every event is an opportunity. When he comes over take this time to practice your kickboxing skills and give him a high kick to the head! If he doesn’t learn his lesson or is (surprisingly) angry, practice some more. Again, practice makes perfect! Watch out Billy Blanks.

7)Single party of one! So you have to do some things alone. That makes you independent and most people find that attractive. No one is really looking for someone to replace their shadow so having the ability to do things separate from your future partner would probably lead to a lasting relationship. And in all honesty there are a lot of things I want to do alone, read (I don’t care what people say, reading a book/magazine together, taking turns reading out loud, sounds fantastically ridiculous to me) go shopping, use the bathroom…

8)Everyone around you is hooked up…and then there’s you. Don’t be sad. You’re unique! You’re special and don’t blend into the crowd cause you’re your own person. And if anyone looks at you with pity well look to number 6 and practice that kickboxing!

9)Blind dates. Hey, you’re a risk taker and that’s good. And it’ll help you build that poker face which can help in games and in negotiations. You’ve mastered the ability to hide your horror in the fact that the blind date across from you looks less like Terrance Howard and more like Flava Flav. That's talent!

10)Constant dating of different people that goes no where. You feel you’ve said the same thing at every date to Jessica, Mary, Tanya or Billy, Kareem, Jason. “I work at such and such, I’m a Cancer, my favorite color is blue, I want to visit Italy someday, I want 2.5 kids” rinse and repeat. You really should just record it on tape, bring it on the date, press play and concentrate on your food. But don’t get weary. These repeat conversations are good for your memory. Hey, maybe you could take that new memory skill and go into acting! Or mix up your conversations and learn the power of word play. Again, great for the mind and writing which can only help your career!

Okay, I’m done. To all you single peeps out there happy Valentine’s day and hey it could be worse you could be dead like those people who “disappeared” in number one which would totally suck...