ork, Boston or LA, provided I loved the winter I’d move to Chicago, provided I looked like a model I’d move to Miami, provided I could stand those hair destroying rainy days I’d move to Seattle, provided I found a worthwhile job there I’d move to Philadelphia, provided it was diverse enough I’d move to Denver.Needless to say I’m ready to go! But why you might ask?
I’m bored.
You’ve heard my rant in the Now What blog but more to the point I’ve reached a level with the city I live in where I am not curious by it. Nothing new. Sure a few new spots open up but it’s the same thing with a different name. Same people there. Same flavor. I’ve done all the museums, been to different clubs/bars/lounges, done sports, dance classes, 5ks, volunteered, checked out many a restaurant, shopped in the boutiques, been to spoken word, plays, checked out every type of festival in town, did outdoor movies and concerts, hosted parties/been to parties, been to wine tasting/ food tasting, themed events. I went to school, college and law school here.
In addition, darn near 80% of my friends are married so our interests are now limited.
I feel like Bill Murray in Ground hog Day at times.
But
Would I feel this way if I was in a relationship? At the very least does a relationship effect the way you see your life and its surroundings. I’m thinking yes. You can tolerate a lot more if there is someone you love refocusing the attention. I’ve seen people determined to leave their city suddenly shift when finding true love.
This is the stuff of movies, as my sister reminded me (for proof see In the Land of Women, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Holiday). People can move for a “change of heart”.
Your relationships with others effects your daily life no doubt.
In Sex and the City they never grew bored of the city because they had each other and active dating lives, not to mention it was in NY people, which is ever exciting. But in the final season when all her friends were in relationships, Carrie decided to pack up and leave with her beau to Paris, telling her friend Miranda that she needed to move on as her friends were doing.
I understand my feelings about this city and I’m not so sure that if I were in a committed relationship my feelings would change, I would simply just tolerate it. Or does a relationship equal change and ,therefore, things you took for granted in the city or experienced as a single person take on a whole new look when you are part of a couple?
I guess, ultimately, when you make a move, know that you are doing it for the right reasons (a new job, better environment) and not to find love or escape it. That wouldn’t bring true satisfaction nor would it provide a guaranteed resolution to your love problems. For me, I want to leave for a new experience (provided I have a job there of course). I’m a writer and for me new environments and experiences feed my creativity so it’s time to find a new city to fall in love with…wish me luck!
Pictures from www.ba-reps.com/artist/oakley/portfolio/2496
4 comments:
I had wrote about this not to long ago. I live in Pittsburgh talk about boring and backwards.
I also wrote there were no men in Pittsburgh. (At least for me). I wanted to move for that reason, too.
I evaluated my reasons for wanting to move. I know that like you said moving to find love is not a good reason. I had to really think about moving esp with two other people (my children)who will be affected by my decision.
I have decided, I still need to move for the change I need in life.
I believe/know I am heading South to N.C.
Girl I am so with you. I've blogged about this myself, my desire to move away. I will definitely move it's just a matter of when.
I so desire a fresh start. Experience a new environment. I can't wait.
Good luck my dear!
Cat, I truly hope you find what you are looking for. I hear what you are saying about not being curious about this city any longer. I've been here all my life. The 'mystery' of the city has long gone. What has kept me here so long, sometimes to my detriment, is my base. Most of my family is here or not to far a drive away on the East Coast.
But it sounds to me that you will always need to be moving on, at least until you find what you are looking for. I don't think any city will consistently give you what you need indefinitely if you haven't found what it is that you truly need to sustain you. There will always come a time where you may get bored with the city you are in (with the possible exception of New York City, I suppose). I'm not saying that is a reason to stay in any one place. In fact, you are still young. If you gots to be moving on, this is by far the best time in your life to explore as much as possible. Because truly, whatever it is that you are looking for most likely will not come to you. You have to go and find it.
Here's to new experiences!!! Good luck!!!
Hmmm. Interesting point. I've observed the same thing, but I always thought it was more about convenience. That is, once you're in a relationship, even if you'd still prefer to live elsewhere, you put up with the place you've grown to dislike because if you left, you'd be in a long-distance relationship, and most people would prefer not to have to do that if possible. But I'm sure you're right that the couple's newfound happiness probably does make them more contented with their surroundings.
I have to say, I think it's okay to move with the goal of finding love IF there's a genuine reason to believe that the city you're moving to would help you in that goal and IF you'll be okay with it if you don't find love. For instance, if you live in the country, it's reasonable to believe that living in such an isolated place is preventing you from finding someone special and that you'd have better luck in a larger venue. But you have to be prepared to deal with it if you move and still can't find anyone.
Btw, if you do want to move to NYC, there are ways to afford it if you're willing to have roommates and/or live in a borough other than Manhattan. Don't get discouraged if it's something you really want. :)
As for Seattle, I haven't lived out there, but I know people who have, and they say it's no rainier than the Northeast. The difference is that you might get light showers more often there as opposed to heavy rain once in awhile here. Also, they have a long, warm, dry summer, and it's gorgeous then. As a city, Seattle is very green, low-key, arty, and beautiful--water, mountains, and trees everywhere. A real feast for the eyes! If it wasn't so far from my family, that's where I'd want to live.
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