That many black women suffer from depression until I read an article on it Essence. We just may have the largest ratio of women in a racial group with depression. This seems plausable becasue the number one drug for women is an antidepressent (and not the pill like i thought). It's just that black women in general aren't "let's go to a shrink and try to work it out" kind of people. We go to the church and if not that keep it inside and keep moving. We have a history of dealing with the blues without any assistance. From the snatching of our children during slavery to the lynching of our men some decades ago to our growing single status as a whole. We just pray and keep it moving. But looking at our statistics and the realities of our communities it makes sense that we would secretly be suffering with the blues. I say secretly because we are so good at hiding it and focusing on taking care of others. We go to work, come home, take care of family(if we have one at home) and sleep. This is not true of all, I try to rail against this. Especially a few years ago when I found myself falling into that pattern and sinking into depression. But I made movements and haven't looked back since. But not many of us do so. We get stuck in our own made up prisons and behave in the ways others expect of us or put up a wall to keep others out. We don't want anyone telling us we have problems...its embarrassing.I am finding myself thinking of this after recently losing an aunt to a stroke and heart attack that I believe was in part due to depression. She just gave up living life like the outgoing person she used to be and taking care of herself mentaly and physically and her body got the point and quit. I wish I had seen the signs but I didn't see her all the time. I thought she was satisfied with her life, she was always happy and cracking jokes and everyone who met her loved her. I knew she was ailing but thought it was beyond help. But I wonder if she could have gotten assistance for her illnesses to improve how she lived. Could have let go of the vices that were killing her. There were those who knew the truth and tried to intervene but she was so locked up in her prison that she could not hear them to change her ways. And now its too late. I don't blame her but I feel a lost and can't help but believe it could have been avoided. From this, I have learned to pay more attention to people around me. She was happy when we were there and seemed alone when we weren't which aided to her depression. I will also focus on taking control of my life and never letting life happen to me. the best way I can honor her now is to remember her at her best and live my life to the fullest...every day. Hope you do the same.
5 comments:
Yes depression affects all of us, including myself but when I know I need it, I have gone and sought help and will continue to do so. We really do have to take care of ourselves and loved ones.
But don't you feel like you may have done something wrong by not noticing. Lots of people hide these things and retreat from others when they are realy down. I do that at times also. Sometimes, we need to seek out help and let people know what is going on.
I'm sorry for your loss, by the way.
Sorry to hear about your aunt.
It is so true that as a race, many of us just feel too embarrassed to ask for help. Many of us believe, as I did until a few years back, that asking for help in some way makes you weak. I struggled through times in my life when I really did not need to because of pride. Because of pride, I almost allowed depression to take my life. I still have my bouts with depression like everyone else, but I have learned to deal with it in better ways and/or ask for help when the load just became too unbearable.
This line:
"But not many of us do so. We get stuck in our own made up prisons and behave in the ways others expect of us or put up a wall to keep others out."
is too true! Thank you for sharing.
I'm on the brink of suicide now. There have been things that have gotten to be too much. I feel dead inside. I have barely any motivation to truly live and enjoy my life. I read this blog entry back when you originally wrote it and it really spoke to me then. I'm really needing it now. I've never felt this deeply depressed in my life. I've never wanted to leave this world so intently. I'm trying to hold on some hope, but I just don't know.
Don't know if you're going to see this but what's worse then going through tough times is the fear that there is nothing after death. For that reason, among others, suicide is a no go. When I'm feeling oppressively down, I think of ways I can start a new and that may mean taking a scary risk to achieve happiness. For me it's moving to another city, which I'm doing next month and I feel amazingly hopeful. As long as we are free, we are never stuck if we are willing to take chances. I hope you find your happiness and don't get stuck in the down, please!
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