Single is the New Black

So after over hearing my parents and step mother discuss my single status (apparently a favoite pastime that may be in part perpetuated by the fear that I will never bear them grandchildren) I felt the need to vent. I'm single yes, and while I don't have the urge to throw on a white dress and sprint to the altar just yet, being a part of a stable satisying relationship is desirable. But it is what it is as I told my brother who also inquires whether "I have a man". Then there are my coworkers who, for the most part, are all married and a few have expressed the desire to be on the "look out" for me. I shrugg my shoulders- what can you do. As I've posted before- the odds of a successful open minded black woman finding love, while not quite on winning the lottery chances, is still hard to achieve. And one like me who finds interest in things that don't seem "typical" of a black woman and, therefore, would like to find a mate who is the same, makes me feel like finding love is on the same line as getting hit by lighting.
I've made my efforts, gone out, joined social groups, online dating (I joined as a "social experiement and find it isn't soley for freaks although there are some of them, anyway, I'd recommend it), changed my usual MO when I go out. All to no avail. I've even heavily contemplated moving because my area leaves much to be desired in the eligible bachelor realm (we were afterall named one of the fattest, uglist cities in some magazines in the past). But I think, good things come to those who wait and I don't stress. You just can't control this type of thing. It doens't hang up on looks or personality (there are plenty of unattractive (although thats subjective right?) and mean people who are in relationships). It's just how the proverbial dice is rolled. But until then, I'll go on my random dates, hang with my friends, do a little traveling, focus on my writing and just keep things moving and being the person I hope I was intended to be- what else you going to do?

Random Hollywood/TV Commentary (not my usual but…)

So I admit I watch a lot of TV and listen to the radio on the way to work and here is some of what I hear and had to make some comments...

Their mother has a lot on her hands-
16 year old little sis to Brittney Spears is knocked up! A high school student who lives in Louisiana, Jamie Lynn Spears reportedly met the father, Casey Aldridge, the son of a Tennessee papermill worker, at church.
Apparently they weren’t paying attention to the sermons!
Hmm is it a coincidence that this happens to be the final season of her Nickelodeon show (no did not know that on my own, it was in Yahoo Entertainment, I do have my limits on what I watch!)


New York New York- Choose Tailor-made over Buda. I actually agreed with this one because Buda was reminiscent of Tango from first season and New York can’t handle a "man's man" (albiet a little urban). Tailor-made is just enough “woman” for the gal who says she wants a wife and she’ll be the husband. He was just fine with that! It appears that they’ve been living together (with his 12 year old daughter who gets along with her-wow) ever since the show ended- guess it’s working out for them (hopefully because do we really want to see another show)! I actually want to see the reunion show next month.



You gets no love from me- Wesley Snipes may face some real jail time for not paying taxes- he’s claiming racism as a result of “unscrupulous tax advice”. If someone tells you to claim 12 million dollars in refunds and not to file returns from 1999-2004 ya needs to raise more than an eyebrow dude. Go to jail, go directly to jail…



“Because nothing says I love you like a Glock”.- News says that Drew Peterson bought his currently missing wife a gun for Valentines Day. Seriously? I can tell you many other things that say I love you- jewelry, flowers, nice dinner… Hmm, I wonder if he’s guilty?
Side note, not that I don’t think they should keep coverage of a missing person in the media, but I am ever so slightly annoyed that they don’t do this for people of color, is it seriously all about race and class? So if you’re a black, broke person who’s missing, you’re as good as dead?

Oh and to the ass who stole a guy's wheel chair while he was using the bathroom at a Walmart in Hagerstown, MD- special place in hell for you buddy- that is so not Christmas!

The Kids Aren't Alright

Teen shoots and kills people at mall.
Teen shoots and kills people at church.
Teens beat up guy on subway.
Teens accost guy on MTA.
Teen takes on life after shooting, after being picked on, after being rejected.
Ect, ect…

So after hearing what seems to be the 10th story in the last few weeks about teens committing violence against others I gotta say something: What in the world is going on? I still have a wee bit of my twenties left and don’t fancy myself so far removed from this generation to not understand them but this violence baffles me. When I was in school kids seemed more violent and crueler than generations before but lately this violence has been turned outward to strangers and authority figures or grown ups. It’s as if some kids don’t live in fear of repercussions.

No fear of punishment, “whoopins”, detention, jail or death! This new surge in youth violence crosses all racial lines. This is not a white problem or a black problem, it’s an US problem. Or maybe the media is just hyping youth violence up since Columbine and this is really nothing new, we just think it is because of the greater coverage. I’m not so sure about that. And if it’s not true then that means that something has definitely changed in our environment to bring out such aggression. TV and its narrow definition of what is cool that bores its way into kids subconscious? Or is the world become so violent that kids are becoming desensitized (has violence gone up a notch or is it that kids are becoming more exposed to it than they were in the past?). Or have adults babied their kids too much?

There has been a lot of discussion recently about how my generation, and I suppose the younger generation, has a different work ethic than those before us. We need instant gratification and were raised to be praised at every step of the way. We quit jobs quicker if we don’t see progress in our career sooner and crave awards. This is the total opposite of our parents who may have stayed at jobs they despised for 20-40 years and never received so much as a thank you from their bosses. We also live at home longer than our parents did. On the bright side (not to sound arrogant) we’re smarter and faster. On the down side, we are less patient and less humble.
So I suppose if that type of parenting is continued, one in which we are praised for almost doing nothing and are not encouraged to stick with things when they get tough (with the assumption it’ll get better), what kind of people will this produce if this child rearing pattern intensifies? I think we’re looking at it. Spoiled brats who have an all about me attitude. No fear of punishment.
Now, I am not saying all kids are like this. I have read up on some teens that are helping to change the world for better and there are many teens out there adhering to the rules and not causing trouble. And I suppose it’s safe to say that the violent teens have a lot more going on than bad parenting and the screwed up media. But these incidents bothered me and I just had to wonder what was going on!

Religion and Cults

Disclaimer: I'm not anti religion and believe in the Lord but I also believe in thinking out the box and exploring ideas. So don't mean to offend anyone here!

Okay, so I was inspired to talk about this after hearing on the today show that Germany has been having an eye out for the Church of Scientology for about a decade now and wants to ban it because of the cultish behavior. I have had the same concerns about that sect before as well as a few others. However, then I thought, isn’t all religion, in some form, a cult? At least if you follow it to the degree that man has formulated it. I’m not talking following the Bible independently and believing in It’s word. I think the cultish atmosphere comes from how mankind behaves because of it. In Catholicism you follow one man- The Pope. And what he says goes (even if it doesn’t coincide with what the law allows such as abortion and divorce). He can even excommunicate you if he thinks you aren’t doing as the Bible would want.
Protestants do the same but this is not as well known. I have heard many instances where one was asked to leave the church because of their behavior no matter if they wanted to or not. And becoming a Jew or Muslim is no walk in the park either. Jehovah Witnesses have members come and make “house visits” to other members to get an idea if their living their life right. And every group has rules be it based on the Bible or Koran or a supplement. Technically you should only date and marry one of your kind, meaning if you are Jewish then another Jew, if you are of a type of Christianity then you must be with the same. All groups follow a leader within their place of worship, some unquestioningly. They go out and recruit. Some where certain garments only. Some Christian religions restrict drinking alcohol, or dancing to secular music or watching certain types of films (like horror or Harry Potter)

Our ideas of cults are the whole David Kuresh (sp?) thing or the Jim Jones bunch but you don’t have to take up arms or drink the punch to be a cult. It’s more a frame of mind, to me. That leaves little room for opposing thinking. Ends individuality. To a degree all religious practices are like that. It’s just that some entail more harmful practices and as such gain the title of cult. I have no problem with following religious ideals but when man gets involved things become a little cloudy…