Count down begins

So I have three, count em, three more weeks until I pick my crap up and move from the fair city of Bmore. Ah, Baltimore, Smaltimore, Baldmore, Bmore we had our fun. I shall not hate on you, you and I just were not a good fit. Funny though, as I talk to my DC friends, some a bit snobby about Baltimore (I'm still taken off guard by how many folk think Baltimore is mostly like The Wire, I'm kind of pissed at that series because of that), I can't help but defend the city. Although I didn't grow up in the city , I did make it my home for the last 4 plus years. It is much more than the crime that some out of towners seemed to think. We have the fabulous art and music scene here. Artscape is nationally known and Rolling Stone even rated Bmore number one in the music scene (yep we beat out New York can you believe it?). It has many nice residential areas and it's pretty diverse (although a bit separated). It's small but unpretentious.

I gave it a good college try. Joined many organizations, volunteered, went to local events, checked out the many types of night life. I really feel its going to be a great town some day soon. But for me, it's time to bid it adieu. As I tell folk I'm moving towards the DC area they smile and say good choice. Not one person, besides my dad who wants me to be closer to the family, says I shouldn't do it. I know DC has it's faults. The male to female ratio is not so great and DC guys can be pretty pretentious and superficial. However, the Maryland and Northern VA guys are a bit different and I'm not deterred (not as if I was living the single life here). Anyway, I'm moving for more than just a new single scene. I'm moving for a total change. I don't want to be in the same place in my thirties as I am in my twenties (except for the no wrinkles thing). Change is good. And most good things don't happen without taking a little risk so here I go! To make the most of this change, I will join new groups and try new things and keep you posted (as entertainment for you and as a way to hold myself accountable to actually do new things). Wish me luck!

Image from http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/people/6017999-moving.php?id=6017999

Just wondering...

If we didn’t have the TV or the internet what kind of lives would we lead? Would we do things differently? Pursue alternative careers? Take up a hobby? Be more environmentally conscious and able (ie, know how to build, grow foods).

Why is this weather so crappy? If I wanted to live in a rainy, cloudy, humid city I’d have moved to Seattle, at least I heard it’s a pretty cool city!

Why, even after all this time, are there still no minority lead TV shows on network/non cable television? Seriously, you got to pay to find “ethnic” stars nowadays.

I’m beginning to have a feeling we might go to war with North Korea, it’s the first time I actually am not against a war in my life time (I’m feeling some kind of way about the American journalist being locked up and sentenced for 12 years for inadvertently crossing the North Korean border. One is a mother of a young child and the other has chronic health issues).

Why is it that with this economy hotels to certain cities are still pricey even though the flights to them have gone down? Great, I can get there, but where the heck am I going to stay?

Why is it that DC/MD/VA have some of the highest ticket prices and harshest ticketing in the country? I just got a $100 one for a camera speeding. With all the tickets I’ve paid I have hardly any room to give to another charity, I already give to a Federal and State one on what seems a monthly basis. I thought I had free parking but I’m paying a fee anyway…

Why is it that some people are small boned and others are big boned? What is the evolutionary significance? I get why there are differences in the races or why people are tall or short due to environmental adaption but I wonder why some of us are naturally bigger than others from jump start.

Just wondering…

Random Train of Thought

So I've been MIA becoming addicted to Twitter, editing and re-editing my fiction writing, planning for my trip to Puerto Rico (this time next week I'll be on a plane to San Juan- hoping it doesn't rain the whole time but still glad to get away!), searching for a new apartment (I'm moving closer to D.C. and I think it'll be a positive move), trying not to kill my neighbors (they won't shut the heck up and my sleeping patterns are awful now!), need to get my car repainted (it's been hit, scratched and is starting to irk my nerves every time I see all of its battle wounds), and looking for a new job (the one I have now has worn out its welcome- well except for the pay check part!). The list goes on.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed in my life. I'm just bored. Nothing worst than being bored with ones state of being. I have a lot to be thankful for, don’t get me wrong but I keep having a nagging feeling that I’m “destined for something greater” as the cliché goes. I won’t knock down my city again, it’s just simply not for me. I don’t even know what to do here anymore besides go to the movies and a few fairs/festivals. I’ve lost my mojo here. I joined a social sports group, even paid for the fee, and just don’t want to play. I keep spending my weekends (and gas) driving up to DC to hang with my DC associates because there is so much more going on over there and they initiate and invite me to things. My few friends here who do want to get out, ask me what to do (I guess because I’m the planner usually) and I got nothing for them anymore. Everything just seems like a bust. Maybe the vacation will kick start my spirit again- I don’t want to rest my happiness on the move- I may still feel the same where there but I do believe that change is good and since I’ve never lived anywhere else for any long period of time this might be good for me.

I’m trying to hold tight to my friends here but most of us are simply going our own ways. My mentor/coworker told me once that one of the mistakes she made at my age was holding onto friendships that weren’t meant to last. She would constantly be the one initiating doing things with certain friends and when she didn’t she’d never hear from them. One day she called a friend and asked where they’d been and the friend said sometimes people just grow apart. Here my coworker was thinking they were “true blue, tight like glue” and this “friend” didn’t even consider her. She said, sometimes, people are meant to be friends for a season and you shouldn’t have to force a friendship, if both sides aren’t making an effort, let it go before feelings get hurt. I’ve been there before a few times and don’t want to be there again- but how do you distinguish between the ending of a friendship and a friendship that is still good it’s just that paths are changing?

Still writing

I was advised by a coworker to take up twittering as a way to network since as I've been saying I'm trying to publish my fiction writing. I've joined many groups which is great because it's improved my writing but many of the participants are in the same boat I'm in- trying to get their stuff out there. My coworker, who is a self published author suggested that I follow the "tweets" of some writers I like and maybe network that way since it take such little time (you can only write so much on each posting, maybe a few lines, so they'll be more likely to pay attention). I thought it couldn't hurt, yet this is just another online site I have to keep up with.

This made me think about how much I've publicized already. I started with Myspace (which I've basically abandoned and would close if I didn't still have friends through that site) then I moved over to Facebook and I actually still view that about once a week. Then came the blogging which has been a great outlet for me for about a year and a half now. Then I'm on an online writing group. Now I'm tweeting. Now I don't talk about my everyday life on their- no stalker is going to know what I'm watching every moment or that I'm about to head out to the grocery store. Still I sometimes can't help but feel that all this electronic communication is just work. I mean, not only do I write but I read because this is all an interactive process, you write your stuff, others read it and you read their stuff- that's even more time- enjoyable, but still time consuming.

I was never a phone person and I'm pretty quiet in person (unless I get a soapbox topic) so sometimes staying so connected becomes just another thing on my to-do list. This is especially so because my life is writing. I write (well legal related material) for a living and I write as a hobby so it can get pretty overwhelming.

I want to pare down some of my writing avenues but I actually like visiting them all from time to time (except that Myspace, that's it, I'm turning that off). Well at least this keeps my mind spinning!

As an aside, if you tweet, drop me your tweet address if you want to share or if you want mine.

Hiatus

Hi peeps,
I'm still on my writing break to focus on really getting published but will be monitoring your sites and may post a few times. However, I have another blog called devoted to my writing that I'm focusing on again. Feel free to take a gander/comment if you'd like and if you're a writer and want to share - that's cool too. I mainly post poetry, and chapters from my two completed novels although I also have some stories in the work that I'm feeling out. Of course all work is protected.
http://crazyonpaper.blogspot.com/

Take care!

Violence in the Time of Economic Down Turn

We’ve heard about the gunman that killed eight people, blaming it on the loss of his job and the man who is robbing convenience stores with his child along due to losing his job and the list goes on. History shows us that violence and economic suffering go hand in hand.

There are few peaceful very poor countries. During the time of the Great Depression lynchings against blacks rose. And it makes sense.

When you are without money you become desperate which causes you to take on options you never thought you would. I was watching some show about how more corporate women who have been laid off are now going to stripping to earn a similar amount of money. Cop killings are also on the rise.

There is the frustration that no one can do anything and no one cares. Unfortunately these killers are taking it out on the wrong people. Innocent people who have no control over their situation. Not that I’m encouraging them to attack wall street workers or bankers. Yet this was a concern at the G20 summit in London where wall street workers were encouraged not to come into work that day due to protestors.

Until this economy goes for the better and jobs are regained I don’t think that we’ll see a change. If it doesn’t change then maybe small town middle America will become a place where you lock your doors at night and hold tight to your purses walking down the street, not just the big cities.

Random Things

Sorry I've been M.I.A. I've been getting back into my fictional writing trying to get it published worthy.

Get me for my paper

If the US Post Office stops delivering mail on Saturdays they could save 3 billion dollars a year. I’m all for saving money especially on that scale. I don’t think I’d be too broken hearted if I had to wait till Monday. Now if we could get them to stop delivering junk mail and unsolicited mail that would be wonderful- wonder how much money that would save.

The Popos put you on blast

In some state (forgot where) prostitution is a big problem so the police are considering sending letters home to the wives of men who are caught with a prostitution. Now obviously this is controversial. Some men feel that is an invasion of privacy but women would want to know if for nothing else, health concerns. Here’s how I see it. Should a man be hiding from his wife that he is going to court on a solicitation of prostitution charge? How can you hide that from your wife anyway? And you’re a jerk if you try to hide it. Now some men feel this is a whole guilty until proven innocent (I mean they could have simply been giving a poor prostitute a ride home and nothing more). Well fine, explain that to the wife and leave it to her to believe you or not. I’m sorry, but I’d like to know if my husband has been arrested. I’m not for keeping secrets in a marriage especially ones of those caliber. And seeing that technically adultery is still illegal (although no one brings it to court anymore) that’s not necessarily the husbands right to keep it quiet. If he was arrested for murder or some other heinous crime that wouldn’t be kept quiet so why should this? I’m just saying…

Too Bootilious for you baby

So a friend stated that bigger (and in his mind big is size 6/8 and up) black women could not attract really good looking white men because they (white men) don’t like that size. Now seeing as most black women are that size and up he basically states that most white men who are attractive wouldn’t like black women. I told him he was wrong and gave examples, he didn’t believe me and wanted to challenge me saying that those men only wanted to sleep with black women but weren’t interested in seriously dating them or marrying them. I stopped arguing, feeling the whole thing was not only offensive but futile and labeled him an ass.S ince I had given up being annoyed at people for lent lets just say I fell off the wagon. Some people deserve to be beat in the head severely with a verbal assult.

I don't have to do anything but stay black and die

And if you've seen Lean on Me you remember that quote from Joe Clark (aka Morgan Freeman) when he was arrested.

This saying came recently to my head when my sister expressed the problem of being invited to a friend's baby shower although she didn't want to go. This friend wasn't someone she was particularly close to, hadn't hung out with them for a while and she was tight on cash.

I too had been invited to this baby shower and had not hung out with this "friend" or even talked to this person in about two years. So what was my answer when she approached me with this problem? See the title.

Life is too short to do things you don't want to do, unless of course there is a greater good or goal to be reached.

This wasn't that situation so I told her don't do it.

I'm know I'm not an old lady whose lived her life and can pretty much tell people to "sit and spin" with wild abandon but as I get older I think I earn a little right along the way to say "hell to the no" to a few things that come my way. And going to certain social functions so someone I'm not that close to won't be mad at me is one of them.

There are a lot of people I don't owe crap too and some of these people I choose to give to anyway, perhaps because they need it. Giving to others is supposed to make you feel good. If it doesn't then don't do it or think carefully before you do.

If you keep giving of your time, money and energy to ungrateful, rude, selfish people you'll only end up full of resentment and anger. Why go there?

I used to go to birthday parties of people who never came to mine. So in essence I was spending all this money on birthday gifts and never got it cosmically returned (although that's not what giving is all about) but still I felt bad. I went to their parties to be nice but they didn't go to mine. They didn't care about my feelings- they were probably feeling the title here. So I decided to save my money and do the same.

Is that mean?

I think life is too short to go broke caring.

CC's Favorite Things

I'm no Oprah and I sure as heck am not giving anything away but I’ll put my two cents in anyway and if you have some favorite things you've encountered spread the word!

Open toed booties- I'm obsessed. It's such a rocker-sexy look. I got a cute pair and really want it to get warmer so I can sport them in comfort!

Curly Hair products – Kinky Curly, Miss Jessies, Mixed Chicks. My hair is curly and these products do it right. I'm trying to grow my curls and need loads of moisturizer for unrelaxed hair. I was put on notice about these products via magazines and celebrity endorsements. My formula I just found is Mixed Chick leave in conditioner (although any good leave in conditioner treatment for thick hair would probably work nicely), Kinky Curly custard, and to keep the curl fresh the next day, Miss Jessies Curly Buttercreme.

Rimmel Lycra Wear 10+ mineral nail polish- cheap nail polish (like $1.99) and it really does last 10 days with no touch ups! I put it on my toes and it didn't need a base or top coat! If you can't get to the salon or want to save money this is a good option.

Murad Acne Spot Treatment - helps dry up a pimple in no time flat! I believe it's the drying sulphur ingredient. You can find it at Sephora.

Mineral Make up- helps give a more perfect coverage and last a long time without going bad due to the types of ingredients used. I've bought one mineral foundation over a year ago and am still using it. Now you can find mineral makeup in almost every cosmetic line. I like Bare essentials on the higher end and maybeline on the lower end.

MAC/ Loreal Hip Eyeshadow- on brown skin, high pigment eyeshadow looks lovely and these brands are the best.

Hulu- I catch up on shows I missed or forgot to DVR here. Takes a little longer before they upload it to the site but it's still a good resource.

Netflix/Blockbusters- I've got no premium movie channels so getting a new dvd per week (for only 9 bucks a month, more dvds a week cost more) is a great deal in lieu of HBO etc. especially when renting one movie is like 4 bucks from the video store and if you're lazy you don't have to go to a redbox (although they too are awesome at only a dollar or two a movie)

Leather jackets- The short motorcycle inspired ones are always so cool looking. I don't eat red meat but I'll wear the heck out of cow (I mean waste not want not right?)

Nine west jeans- the only jeans so far that I have found that fit my hour glass figure well.

Pencil straight skirts and dresses- they just look so sexy with heels

Half ebay- get it (whatever your "it" is) for cheap

Imdb- for a movie/tv fan this is your mecca!

Wikipedia- for a lazy researcher this is a great go to guide, sometimes I read the plot about a book or movie I'm on the fence about getting

100 calorie molten cakes- so yummy yet so not high in calories

Vietnames food at Baltimore pho- this place was so good and the dessert was delish, if you live in Bmore come there

The pizza at Greek Village Carry Out- sometimes local spots are so good, if you live in Baltimore County, check it out, it's in the Milford Mill area.

Low top Chuck Taylor tennis- I just think they are and always will be a cool look

New York boutiques near Soho/Canal Street- get some cute stuff for low prices! I have yet to find boutiques in Baltimore that sell at discount prices (like Forever 21) that aren't cheap looking. It's either high end or cheap- no in between.

Ruffles (tops and dresses)- just cute and sexy paired with the pencil skirt look

Skinny (stretch) jeans that tuck in boots- best thing to ever come in style. So comfortable, like wearing structured tights so they are forgiving.

Snow balls with marshmallow topping- Maybe it's a Baltimore thing (haven't found snowballs in other towns) but it is so good- come on summer!

Flax seed- not only good for the heart and hair but helps get your tummy down

Tops from Mango- they are just such great "date night" tops, so cute! I was first put on to them a decade ago when I studied abroad in Barcelona and a few years back was excited to find they had expanded to the States. The closest one to me is in the Northern VA malls so I really need for them to add one in Maryland!

Tom Tom- When I'm lost lost, tom tom helps me!

White or “nude” color eyeliner at the bottom eyelid- they have made my eyes pop which helps when you plan to dance the night away and want to avoid that blood shot eye been ran over look one can get by the end of the night

African Pride highlights kit- the hair actually becomes the color the box shows that it will. no guessing games here!

So any favorites that you have?

Giving up Annoyance for Lent

So I attended a training yesterday and although I’m not quite sure if it was truly helpful in reaching the goal it was meant to achieve, I did take one thing from it. The speaker talked about how we all have favorite colors or foods or movies or places. He challenged us into wondering what favorite emotion we have. And by that he meant, what emotion do we tend to fall into (subconsciously really) the most. He admitted that in the past his favorite emotion was anger. He didn’t realize it until someone pointed out to him that he was always angry and wondered what he would choose to be angry about that day. That made him stop and think and try to change the way he did things.

This got me to wondering- what emotion do I tend to find myself constantly in? Ideally we all want to fall into the emotion of happiness but for many of us that is a goal not a reality. There are few happy go lucky people out there.

I know that my “go to” emotion is annoyance. I am VERY easily annoyed by people, pets, TV shows, weather, work, food. You name it. Obviously this is not a very good state of existence. The reality is, if you have a “favorite” emotion, nine times out of ten you will feel it. Meaning, if it is your thing to be angry at stuff you will find yourself, well, angry at stuff. So for me, annoying things happen to me because I am easily annoyed. If I make the chose to look at those things differently, will they be annoying? Will I be encouraged to react differently? As a result will different outcomes occur?

This sounds a bit like “The Secret” but it really makes sense. Like does attract like.
You date losers because you put out the energy that losers are all you date (even if you say it angrily you are affirming it). If you are annoyed with your weight you will continue to be annoyed with it (ie, not lose weight). The idea is that if you look at yourself, life, others in a different manner they will begin to emulate the positive outlook you are now giving them.

I don’t know about the reality of this but I figure it can’t hurt. So, even though I am not Catholic, I am giving up annoyance for lent. Starting today and ending April 11th, I will try to view things in a more positive manner. I have already been tested twice today. One by a coworker who I find annoying in every conceivable way. She already did something that would annoy me today but I tried to catch myself and smile instead. I felt my blood pressure lowering. Then I had a meeting with my boss about my performance. I wanted an exceptional in a certain area and she gave me a fully successful. When I asked her why, her reasoning did not help me at all and I was all set to get annoyed when I stopped to think about what she was saying. In the government, directors only get so much money for awards and she was pretty limited so she couldn’t give exceptional in everything. She just didn’t have the funds but she said she thought I was doing a great job and thought the ratings she gave me showed I knew and did my job well, plus I would still get a monetary award for a fully sucessful. I chose to focus on that and again, feel a lot better than I did when I first saw the ratings. I am also going to take the time to really decipher what she was telling me so that I can look at improving as just an opportunity and not a message that I’ve been doing wrong. No one is perfect and we always need something to aspire to in order to keep us going and interested.

It’s a struggle but I think I’m going to give it a go.

That basdard ground hog saw his shadow

Just as I was complaining all weekend long (except for Sunday) about how redunculously cold it is my sad hope that Punxstawney Phil would not see his shadow was dashed. On this cold February 2nd that fat little turd saw his shadow and now we have 6 more weeks of winter (if you believe that sort of thing).

All I know is that it is so cold I don't want to leave my house. I wish I could work from home every day. I would not miss interaction with my coworkers- it's too cold. One of my friends is not even sure she wants to celebrate her birthday this month b/c she doesn't want to go out in the cold. I suggested a conference call party.

I don't even feel like exercising or doing anything. I just want to eat and be under the covers watching TV.
My skin is dry from head to toe and I practically have to dip myself in a vat of grease to keep moisturized.
Even my cat is cold. She's been sleeping either near the radiator or near me.

Damn you winter! Damn you to hell!

2008: The Randomness in Review

Sorry I've been quiet for a bit- had a serious case of blogger's block but couldn't close out the year without running my mouth.
I just wanted to throw out some thoughts of pure randomness that I came to realize or just thought about from this past year.

As I hold tight to the last of my twenties, I realize that aging is scary but also quite fasinating. What will each new stage bring and not in a negative way? How will my views and position in this world change? Will I finally be the person I wanted to be? And what will it be like to see Beyonce at a come back tour at the age of 60 (you know like when older folks go see Bette Mitler or Tina Turner in concert). Is it mean that I can't wait for her to age and become the old diva she's trying to be?

That going green is so important and so expensive! I'm a recycler to the max (okay, I have a cabinet full of plastic bags and paper I need to turn in to the recycling center but the aim is to recycle all the same). I'd love to do more, buy green products and clothing but, it's a recession and green cleaning products are more expensive than the regular ones! We should get discounts for going green, special tax incentives or something!

That new years resolutions suck but everyone likes to feel renewed. And on that note I plan to give up pork and do some form of fulfilling volunteer work on a regular basis.

That truly: The opposite of love is not hate but rather indifference. I heard this somewhere but didn't truly get it until recently. How many people have I passionately disliked but still really cared about or missed or allowed myself to be hurt by? Then I think about the people I also didn't like but just had no feeling for them at all. I mean I didn't care what went on in their lives. Sadly, I think most of the world is very indifferent to one another (how else could we turn our backs to such suffering).

That marriage can be just as scary as Lifetime TV makes it sound. I mean, a man goes to his ex wife's Christmas party and shoots a freakin flame thrower at people, including a child, because, or so it appears, his divorce was finalized. And let's not forget the man who drowned his children while in a custody battle with his ex wife. And it goes on. I'm not saying you have to go into marriage with a ring on one hand and a gun in the other but lately it seems as if people aren't afraid to cross those lines (or rather TV is enabling us to hear more about it).

Which leads me to wonder about people. Like Linus from the Peanut Gallery, I believed that people in general were basicall good and it was just certain persons that were bad. But that bad really spoils us all because for every good act we hear about it get's overshadowed by some other horrific act that remains with us while the good acts do not. And with our world in recession, history shows that crime rises but still I hope for change in the new year.

And what better start than with an African American (well in part) president! He is not the second coming, please do not hold all faith in a man and idolize him but what a powerful symbol for change/hope. My hope is that the new year allows us to look at possibilities differently. For all its faults, we are in a country that allows us to be, think and achieve our dreams if only we try.

Noisy Neighbor Nuisance!

My neighbor is testing my small amount of patience. She has a different person living in her house everytime I look. And by person, I mean dude. Now I don’t judge but the best way to keep your life to yourself is to be quiet about it and that chick doesn’t. I’m already tramatized enough when I awoke to her having "relations" one night (and I heard it all, had I had a gun that night it would have been an ugly scene).

Then her and random dude wanna try again last night. These walls are paper thin, they have to know that, so how disrespectful of them. I’ve already gone up to complain before so they (I say they because every time I’ve knocked on her door a different guy answers instead of her, it got to the point I doubted she even lived there anymore and that maybe some guys took over the one bedroom) know they need to be a little more thoughtful with the noise control but I wasn’t in any mood to leave my aparment in the middle of the night to complain again and doubt they would be please with me “interrupting them”. So in my best passive aggressive way I politely began to hammer my walls like a crack head in the middle of the night.

Low and behold that got their attention but I dared them to come to my apartment with a complaint. I had my speech all ready in my head. It would begin with me not realizing they could hear me hammering my christmas decorations to the wall above the noise they were making. I would be nice and tell them that perhaps we both need to be more considerate of each other to avoid this problem again.

I’m at the point where my sleep is getting deprived and I’m waking up with bags under my eyes. No longer is sleeping in my comfortable queen sized bed a wonderful expereince. Instead I dread going to sleep for fear of being awaken (as usually occurs for the past two months) to her getting it on, her dog running around, her and random dude yelling at each other or watching TV or playing music loudly.

My patience is wearing thin. The noise usually occurs in the middle of the night so I hate to leave my apartment then. I usually seek revenge by being as loud as possible in the morning (but not sure if sound travels up as she lives above me). I’ve been quiet lately as I have devised a plan. I will complain once more to her during day light hours of noise the previous night. Should this not resolve I will complaint to my landlord who is buddy buddy with her so doubt it will do much good. Finally I will bring in the cops! Lastly, I will tell said landlord that I have found employment in another state and get out of my lease (which he said he would not penalize me for if such occurred) and move.

Grrr

Look a Likes

I’ve been told most of my life that I look like someone. When I was little (and still) I looked like my mother.

When I was in college everyone thought I looked like Alexis Fields from Sister, Sister.

In my early twenties I looked like Sanaa Latham.

Most recently I’ve been getting a lot of “has anyone ever told you you look like Gabrielle Union?” (and I get that from all races and both genders). Now I don’t feel I look like her at all (not the same color and if I don’t wear my hair straight the similarities just don’t show). I don’t get it but I think she’s pretty so there is worse I could be compared to.

Seeing as none of these women look a like themselves I’m not quite sure what everyone is talking about or maybe I’m just a chameleon.

Anyway, I just always thought it was interesting. To a degree, everyone has someone or even a few people they look like that they aren’t related to. Heck my dad was said to look like Bill Cosby and my sister Keisha Knight Pullman (aka Rudy), I felt left out then. I wanted to be a Huxtable!

This look alike bit led me to wonder if we tend to date with that in mind. Have you ever found yourself dating a certain type visually? I got stuck on that in my younger days. The guys would be in my skin complexion category and clean shaven for the most. Then I started going for the earthy curly haired types. (Incidentally, Lenny Kravitz (post locks) and Maxwell were my celebrity crushes, kind of similar, right?) I got out of that by my early twenties. I tend to not like to date guys who look like guys I dated before. It seems like I’m regressing. It’s a superficial thing but it’s what’s comfortable.

I once went out with a guy I thought looked too much like my brother. I did not care for that and stopped seeing him. His feelings were hurt but I’m sorry I just could not. Nope.

I hate everyone

No, I'm not pmsing. Sometimes I just get that way, when everything bugs me and I've got no escape from the annoying. I close one door on an annoying person just to turn around and have another one starring right at me.

This is the time of the year to be thankful but no working at a soup kitchen or listening to sad all I want for Christmas stories on the radio can change how I feel right now. I'm just in an extended funk and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever truly came out of it. For example was I simply just in remission from anger at some point?

I know that I need a vacation away from people when even the most non important things get on my nerves, when the usual bothers make me want to pick up a trash can and scream "Radio" (for all those who've seen Do the Right Thing, you know what I mean) and the really bothersome things make me want to tase and/or mace people. I've asked for mace for Christmas but I wonder if in my hands it will be used for good instead of evil.

Okay, so let me categorize the things that get on nerves.

Stupid but bothersome

The plot line on Heroes and Grey's Anatomy upsets me in ways I can't understand.

I just watched really good episodes of Smallville and Supernatural on the CW network and they won't have new episodes until mid January- they get the finger! Bammas!

My expensive Verizon "high speed" Internet isn't fast at ALL!

My landlord is about to catch a foot. When something breaks down don't tell me how to fix it, you come and fix it! If I have to break apart something to get it to work, it's out of my league. Do your job or give me my deposit back!

One of my coworkers keeps wanting to have conversations with me everyday and is bothersome to many. I don't really like her (nor do I trust her, why does she go through my cubicle sometimes when I'm not there, we don't work on any of the same projects and she isn't my back up) but I can't say that and it really is mean to think that way but...

Trash can moments

My job, my team lead got an agency award that should have been a team award because she is not a leader or a good source of guidance. I had to basically train myself and she goes to ME for answers! Meanwhile, I got no award, no real time off and haven't gone to any out of state trainings or get to rotate which my white counterpart got to do and she wasn't as good a worker as I was (yeah, I'm tooting my own horn). Don't let me file an EEO claim!

Thanksgiving dinner with family and their friends- don't wanna go. Some will surely annoy me and with me being in the titled mood, I'm going to have to hold tight to patience.

Another guy I'm seeing, seemed a bit disappointed that I was taking things slow (not the same as the taser guy below). Since when did third date automatically lead to sex? We don't even know each other's last names! No wonder MD has a high rate of STDs! AIDS is the number one killer of black women in my age group- kick rocks. Let's take our time, to quote Ms. Janet!

Upstairs neighbor was blasting hard rock and sounded like they were river dancing at 1130pm on a Sunday night. I stormed up there to politely complain. I expected it to be a woman who I thought lived above me but instead was scared half to death when what appeared to be a Marilyn Manson fan answered the door. He was polite enough but my tone was really pleasant as well. Note to self- don't knock on doors if you don't know who the hell lives there!

Tasing moments

A guy thought it was okay to try to grope me on the end of our date. I let him know I was not down with it and preferred to take things slow (see rationale above) which he didn't seem to respect too much (gave a half assed "I understand") but I said goodbye and left. (A week later he asked me out again...via text. My response- . ) Had I had a taser or some pepper spray the night would have gone differently (provided I had a gas mask so I didn't inhale the spray and was far enough from him to tase him without him grabbing me).

The immature dochebag who tried to grope me at the bar last weekend when I was two stepping with my friends and got on my nerves so bad I had to leave the dance floor or else stab him with my keys. What's with the disrespect? He proceeded to bother me again later on that night and I called him out on it. He walked away this time.

The ass who decided to park behind my building the other night and proceeded to loudly curse out someone on the phone for thirty minutes around 12am on a Wednesday night! If only I had a blow dart!

Okay enough complaining, I feel a little better already but things can surely change if that coworker I mentioned above keeps walking past my cubicle...

*Side note, is it sad that the title of this post comes from a children's book about an angry bee?

Boo: A Halloween tribute

So Halloween is coming up and I, just like a kid get excited for it. As a child doned a costume and I gorged myself on candy and horror movies/ specials/cartoons.

As an adult I cut back on the candy but have in recent years gone back to dressing up. Adults like make believe too!

So this year some friends and I are rocking a Halloween tribute to our favorite make believe girl band of the 80's: Jem and the Holograms.

We're heading downtown and plan to mix and mingle with the other Halloween enthusiasts.

I, like most girls of the 80s loved this cartoon. It was diverse and glamourous.

There was Jem the stage identity of Jerrica who sung the lead.

Then we have her red headed sister Kimber on keyboard.

Next the adopted purple haired sister Shana on drums and guitar.

Another adopted blue haired sister Aja on guitar.

Later in the series comes pink haired Raya to take over on drums.

I remember my sister getting the Jem doll and we got the jem car complete with working radio.

I got the Aja doll (I really wanted Shana because she was African American but they were sold out so I got Aja as back up because she was Chinese and I wanted a minority representative, this was before Raya (Mexican) entered the group).

So this Friday my friends and I are going to relive our child hood fantasy and dress up as our beloved characters. We will of course look like clowns in our 80s make up and gear but it should be fun.

Anyone else dressing up?

Next in my tribute I had to do a count down of my top horror films.

I am a self appointed horror aficionado and MUST stuff myself with horror films (both new and old) during the month of October. Here are some of my favorites/recommendations and why:

Alien/Aliens- I place them both because they are equally good. While some may claim them science fiction I say if it scares me it's horror. It wasn't just the monsters that did it but the suspense and the great character development and I'm sorry Sigorney Weaver's character is the best female movie hero of all time. I hope I can be that strong in time of horrifying crisis but I'm leaning towards the running away screaming or passing out in fright as the real reality.

The Exorcist- I hated that little girl but she still scared me. When I saw her bend back wards and walk down the stairs at her mother's dinner party I was too through. This was only intensified by the random appearances of a demon face in random parts of the movie (check the unrated version), scared me! And the fact that it was based on a true story.

30 Days of Night- this movie is new but it brings the whole vampire lore back to its unsexy past. These are vampires you do NOT want biting you under any circumstances!

Dawn of the Dead (remake)- these zombies are not like the slow moving beings in the original. If you are caught out there with these guys, you're gone. Apparently being a zombie makes you a track star! Also great character interaction.

The Ring (American Version)- Okay, I really don't like this movie but not because it wasn't good- I don't like it because after seeing it once I was literally scared for 7 days. I shall never watch this movie again... Same goes with The Grudge

The Thing (John Carpenter version)- great horror special effects for its time, great scary build up

Most Stephen King movies but favorites- The Mist (very desolate, creepy), The Stand (long but great characters), It (confirms why I hate clowns) , Carrie (don't mess with the unpopular girl), and the Shining (makes being snowed in not so fun).

Poltergeist- Not so scary to me as an adult (hey if they show it on ABC Family how scary can it be?) but still a classic I love to watch. The fact that it is based on a true story also makes it scare worthy.

Any others?

Vegas Recap

Okay, I’m back from Vegas (sigh) and am hit with the rather cold reality (what the hell ever happened to it gradually getting colder) that I have no more vacation to look forward to. I must plan another trip- sadness that I live for vacation, I really need to find another line of work or do something that is more fulfilling.

Anywho, here is an edited account of my Vegas birthday bash.
I arrived in Vegas in the afternoon last Friday. I was ravenous so after we waited in an incredibly long line at the Treasure Island Hotel and Casino check in; we freshened up and headed to the buffet. It was so-so, I really wanted to go to the Bellagio’s but our stomachs wouldn’t let us take the trip.

After the so-so meal we headed off to the Fashion Show Mall where I bought a few items (I’d been depriving myself of my shopping addiction for months just for this). I must say, that it wasn’t that easy to find things, although the sales were excellent. Isn’t it always that when you don’t have money you find things you want but when you have money you can barely find anything? Anywho, I did discover that my weight loss put me at a pants/jean size smaller so I’m ecstatic!

My travel buddies got tired of shopping and left me and I eventually met up with them at the hotel. We rested a bit and then got dolled up to go out.

Now let me tell you something about going out in Vegas. If you are a woman, I must say the sky is the limit because clubs want women. And I’m speaking the top level/celebrity clubs too. We got so many offers to be put on the guest lists for places that we had to have a discussion about which ones to go to and which ones to save for another trip (because we will be going back, this is my second time there already).

We ended up at Tao in the Venetian. Got VIP access, no lines, and a one hour open bar. The creator of Family Guy was celebrating his birthday there that night and I meant to find him and get his autograph for a friend who really likes him but let’s just say- open bar- things didn’t go as planned. Anywho, Tao was a lot of fun and a very pretty club.

Next morning, I had breakfast and went back to sleep. We got out around 1pm and walked the Vegas strip, checking out sites and hotels. We ended up at Planet Hollywood where we grabbed a very inexpensive lunch at a sit down restaurant and then did a bit more shopping. We then walked the other side of the strip. Went in the casino of one hotel, played slots, had a drink and then headed back to the hotel. Took a nap and got dolled up (me complete with my birthday tiara-no judgments!) and headed out to Blush at the Wynn. We were supposed to be on the guest list but arrived too late (10:30!) so couldn’t get in because the celebrities were allegedly showing up and no one could get in for the next hour or two. Screw that, we said and we headed to another spot called Poetry in Caesars Palace. This is a hip hop club but we figured its Vegas and in a nice hotel so it’ll be classy. Wrong!

Something about women being dolled up in their dresses and heels and men in long T shirts and baggy jeans that didn’t sit right with me. We high tailed it out of there and made our way to another club called Pure in the same hotel.

We were not on the list here and the door men were WAAAYYY picky about letting people in. It was one of those spots where they look you over and such to let you in. Women obviously having the better luck. I hate places like that and if we hadn’t wasted a ten dollar cab ride to go over there for the Poetry club, I’d have gone to another spot whose guest list we were on (by the way guest list close at midnight and it was close to that hour by then). Anywho, I finally caught the door man’s eye and he eventually let us in for free of course! Anyway, Pure was a great time. Very large and many rooms. The Pussycat Dolls have a nightly show there in their own room so we checked it out.

We made it back to the hotel and grabbed a quick bite before sleeping. One of our friends was leaving the next day so when we awoke she was gone. Mind you we woke at 630am for some odd reason. So we decided to make the best of it and hit Caesars Palace for their awesome spa Qua. We just got day passes and did their saunas and roman baths, tea room and great showers. It was the BEST experience ever. My skin was all glowy and I lost two pounds and my friend lost 5 pounds. Just from lounging in a hot climate. They need a place like that here!

We then went to check out some free shows and sites, played more slots, and headed back for a nap. I got up and headed to the mall again for something and we then went out to dinner. We spoke to some guys we’d been encountering all weekend who invited us to come to a club called Body English where they had a reserved table. We were indecisive but told them we’d contact them later. They were nice and cute but we were so tired! After dinner we went back to the hotel for a nap. When I woke up it was late and my eyes were still red from being sleepy and worst yet my ankle was throbbing, guess the sprain was not completely gone. So we passed on going out. We caught a show in our hotel and then went to sleep.

The next morning we left at the butt crack of dawn and headed home. Sigh, I’ll be back in 2009 for sure!

I think I'm Spike Lee's hype man

Oprah said the Spike Lee's Miracle at St. Anna was great. Then two coworkers who are familiar with my movie taste said the movie was great and recommended I see it. So a friend and I did check it out over the weekend and I have to say that I LOVED that movie!

It looks like a war movie about the Buffalo soldiers (black army in World War II) but it was oh so much more. The fighting war part of it was only a backdrop and part of the story but not the center. Many side plots, very touching and of course many miracles. It had a few flaws but over all I enjoyed it even though it was long. Spike Lee has really told a story, in my opinion, as good as his Malcom X tale which I believe was his greatest work (I've seen just about all his movies and some are better than others). It's also based on a book if you are a reader. Anywho I'm spreading the word (since the media isn't) and telling people to go check it all!

As a side note here are two things that I'm confused about:

How did Eminem get listed as Vibes best living rapper of all time? Top ten list okay but better than everyone. I'm no great rap head at all and tend to sway towards the conscious bit but he even beat out Jay Z so I gotta scratch my head on this.

Check this blog for an explanation and the bloggers reasoning on why the rating is a bit whack-

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/hiphopmediatraining/31863/best-rapper-alive-competition-feels-slim-shady/

The stock market raising almost 1000 points. Great news, for darn sure but how'd it happen? Does this mean things are going to get better or is this simply an eye in the middle of the financial storm. I'm weary about getting too happy here.

Final note-

I'm going to Vegas, baby!

For my birthday so I'll be giving you a limited recap (what with what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and all) next week.

I leave on Friday morning! Oh yeah!

Blogger's Block

Gotta put in my weekly post but not uber excited about anything going on lately. So here are some random thoughts:

The elections give me heart burn -at this rate I say hold all the talk and lets just get to voting, we know everyone's position now and if you are undecided well think on this- if you didn't like Bush's presidency (and with a 29% approval rating who did?- who are those 29% other than his family and friends, they need not be able to vote!) then vote Obama. BTW- does anyone besides me get the feeling that McCain's dentures are about to fall out when he talks?

The now GLOBAL economic climate is scaring me to death. I feel like my trip to Vegas next weekend for my birthday (yea me) will be my last travel horrah for quite a while. Sadness.

I have been smelling gas in my apartment for the last two days and BGE has found no strong readings of gas leak (stove is off) so where the hell is that smell coming from! I kindly informed my landlord that he help me find out. He will check it out today. I was half awake all night fearful I would go down in a literal blaze of non glory. Not to mention my cat was acting like she just found some drugs either that or a ghost was chasing her. I prefer to think the former.

Got engrossed again to the show Heroes but it can be a little iratating. What the hell is going on? The future keeps changing. I really don't like the two main female characters. They put in others but never do enough with their roles. Seems like if you are blond woman on theat show you're there to stay. Just observing...

Wanna see Miracle at St. Anna (a Spike Lee joint) heard it was fantastic.

Why is there a Saw V?

Got a sprained ankle. This is week 6 of it still healing. I plan to be in heals next weekend for Vegas so a miracle better happen! Grrrr

I want Jazmine Sullivan's CD- lovin all the songs I'm hearing from her.

My agency now is doing student loan forgiveness if you join them but not for current employees. I've been in an intern position with them for two years and recently got made permanent so I'm saying now I'm kind of like a new hire. I'm not sure they will accept that but I will try anyway. As an aside I'm looking to join other agency's that will forgive my loans. I gots lots of em!

Okay, enough with the ramble.

The Final Straw

This economy has hurt our gas consumption, has charged us for checking in bags, made us pay higher prices for groceries but the final straw is when they start messing with the most important thing of all: CANDY!

Seems now due to higher prices Hershey's chocolate has taken the cocoa butter out of many of their chocolate candies and replaced it with vegetable oil! Not since the great coca cola switch have I been this upset (okay, I wasn't born when the original soda was out but I keep hearing about how it was way better than today's stuff so now I'm upset).

Anywho, vegetable oil is supposed to be cheaper but you don't see Hershey's dropping their prices on the candy and it tastes different.
I saw this on the Today show and many customers are upset and don't like the taste of the new candy as compared to the old actual milk chocolate they used to eat. Some actually like the new stuff. To each their own but if there is no actual cocoa butter in the new stuff it's not really chocolate but more so chocolate flavored. That's whack! Don't make me come up to Hershey, Pennsylvannia!