So I've been MIA becoming addicted to Twitter, editing and re-editing my fiction writing, planning for my trip to Puerto Rico (this time next week I'll be on a plane to San Juan- hoping it doesn't rain the whole time but still glad to get away!), searching for a new apartment (I'm moving closer to D.C. and I think it'll be a positive move), trying not to kill my neighbors (they won't shut the heck up and my sleeping patterns are awful now!), need to get my car repainted (it's been hit, scratched and is starting to irk my nerves every time I see all of its battle wounds), and looking for a new job (the one I have now has worn out its welcome- well except for the pay check part!). The list goes on.
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed in my life. I'm just bored. Nothing worst than being bored with ones state of being. I have a lot to be thankful for, don’t get me wrong but I keep having a nagging feeling that I’m “destined for something greater” as the cliché goes. I won’t knock down my city again, it’s just simply not for me. I don’t even know what to do here anymore besides go to the movies and a few fairs/festivals. I’ve lost my mojo here. I joined a social sports group, even paid for the fee, and just don’t want to play. I keep spending my weekends (and gas) driving up to DC to hang with my DC associates because there is so much more going on over there and they initiate and invite me to things. My few friends here who do want to get out, ask me what to do (I guess because I’m the planner usually) and I got nothing for them anymore. Everything just seems like a bust. Maybe the vacation will kick start my spirit again- I don’t want to rest my happiness on the move- I may still feel the same where there but I do believe that change is good and since I’ve never lived anywhere else for any long period of time this might be good for me.
I’m trying to hold tight to my friends here but most of us are simply going our own ways. My mentor/coworker told me once that one of the mistakes she made at my age was holding onto friendships that weren’t meant to last. She would constantly be the one initiating doing things with certain friends and when she didn’t she’d never hear from them. One day she called a friend and asked where they’d been and the friend said sometimes people just grow apart. Here my coworker was thinking they were “true blue, tight like glue” and this “friend” didn’t even consider her. She said, sometimes, people are meant to be friends for a season and you shouldn’t have to force a friendship, if both sides aren’t making an effort, let it go before feelings get hurt. I’ve been there before a few times and don’t want to be there again- but how do you distinguish between the ending of a friendship and a friendship that is still good it’s just that paths are changing?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I had to learn that lesson early. At first I thought that maybe something was wrong with me. I'd worry about it something terrible, wouldn't even meet new people. Then my husband just told me point blank, people grow apart. They have new interests in their lives and other things, and people, go by the wayside. You can either get bitter about or just move on yourself. I've found that as I've moved on and opened up, I've found more connective friendships and even re-connected with a few old friends.
I keep thinking about your last question. I'm wondering that as well. I suppose in the past I have mistaken a good friend just changing paths with the end of a friendship and held on the the wrong ones, I perhaps. At the end of the day, make the effort with those that make the effort with you. Sites like Facebook makes it easier to do these days, especially for those of us non-phone people.
I so understand how you are feeling. I want to leave this city so bad. Being here is weighing on my spirits. And the job is really bad.
I agree about outgrowing friends. You want to hold on to them because of the history but sometimes letting go is better for your future.
I have friends who I will send a hello once in a while or if I see them in the street stop to chat, but I know that is as far as I wish to go.
I hope that your vacation and move will help you get your mojo back.
Okay I wrote a huge comment then lost it..Lol.. I'm to annoyed to retype it.. : ) Love your blog..
Much love Christina
Post a Comment