Movin on Up

Okay, not really moving up but I decided, after a long sabatical, to jump back into blogging and encourage you to check out my new website (because I'm shutting this one down) called www.crazyonpaper.blogspot.com . Hope you come by and enjoy!

Music on my Mind this Month

Laura Izibor- sigh, always great to find some neo soul - I like the Don't Stay song. Most folks probably know this one- From My Heart to Yours



Kings of Leon- I loves a little rock and his voice is a bit soulful, I don't know, I'm feeling it.
Use Somebody

Carolina- another rock one but I take it as a bit of Christian rock, not sure if they meant it to be taken that way.
Show Me What I'm Looking For



Kid Cudi with Kanye and Common - Not always into the current rap stuff unless you have some Common in it!
I Make Her Say



Eric Hutchinson- soulish pop. I like his sound. I like his Rock and Roll song, its been out a while now but still posting.

Count down begins

So I have three, count em, three more weeks until I pick my crap up and move from the fair city of Bmore. Ah, Baltimore, Smaltimore, Baldmore, Bmore we had our fun. I shall not hate on you, you and I just were not a good fit. Funny though, as I talk to my DC friends, some a bit snobby about Baltimore (I'm still taken off guard by how many folk think Baltimore is mostly like The Wire, I'm kind of pissed at that series because of that), I can't help but defend the city. Although I didn't grow up in the city , I did make it my home for the last 4 plus years. It is much more than the crime that some out of towners seemed to think. We have the fabulous art and music scene here. Artscape is nationally known and Rolling Stone even rated Bmore number one in the music scene (yep we beat out New York can you believe it?). It has many nice residential areas and it's pretty diverse (although a bit separated). It's small but unpretentious.

I gave it a good college try. Joined many organizations, volunteered, went to local events, checked out the many types of night life. I really feel its going to be a great town some day soon. But for me, it's time to bid it adieu. As I tell folk I'm moving towards the DC area they smile and say good choice. Not one person, besides my dad who wants me to be closer to the family, says I shouldn't do it. I know DC has it's faults. The male to female ratio is not so great and DC guys can be pretty pretentious and superficial. However, the Maryland and Northern VA guys are a bit different and I'm not deterred (not as if I was living the single life here). Anyway, I'm moving for more than just a new single scene. I'm moving for a total change. I don't want to be in the same place in my thirties as I am in my twenties (except for the no wrinkles thing). Change is good. And most good things don't happen without taking a little risk so here I go! To make the most of this change, I will join new groups and try new things and keep you posted (as entertainment for you and as a way to hold myself accountable to actually do new things). Wish me luck!

Image from http://www.istockphoto.com/file_closeup/people/6017999-moving.php?id=6017999

Sadness

Had to post something about the passing of Micheal Jackson. He was my first celebrity crush. Even with all the controversy he is one of my favorite artist of all time.
Keeping it short.
Here are some of my favorite MJ videos/songs (not only the king of pop but the king of videos)

Remember the Time - tried so hard to do those dances

Billie Jean- loved the little light up sidewalk, didn't know what the song was about at the time really

Beat It- I think I tried to do the fight/dance scene with my sister when I was younger



Smooth Criminal- Think I actually rented the little movie that was the extension of this song when I was little



The Way You Make Me Feel- I wanted to be that girl walking down the street (although the whole situation in real life was kind of dangerous)

Honorable Mentions

You Rock My World- I loved Chris Tucker in it and of course the dancing

Thriller - of course

Black or White- not my favorite song but loved seeing all the colors of people

In the Closet- thought I could be Naomi Campbell haha

No Video but gotta add Human Nature, Can You Feel It, Ben (sure it was about a rat, but it was sweet)

Rest in peace Mike- you are surely missed!

Best Buddy Comedies

Recently saw the Hangover and absolutely loved it. I adore buddy comedies. It's only something I've come into in recent years but nothing beats the comedy of dudes. Women comedies, wait are there any well known ones. We're funny but there's just something that dudes do- they just take it there, places women wouldn't go without looking unattractive or just stupid which in turn makes them unattractive. The closest one I can remember is the Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate and Selma Blair. Should I ever make it as a screen writer, I am going to write a good female comedy on the line of a buddy comedy but still realistic. And it would have to star Anna Farris, she isn't afraid to go there.

"According to the Journal of Popular Film and Television, buddy films emerged in the 1970s in response to the feminist movement. The journal reported, "To punish women for their desire for equality, the buddy film pushes them out of the center of the narrative and replaces the traditional central romantic relationship between a man and a woman with a buddy relationship between two men. By making both protagonists men, the central issue of the film becomes the growth and development of their friendship. Women as potential love interests are thus either eliminated from the narrative space or pushed into the background as side characters.""

Could women really do a comedy where finding love is merely a backdrop to the friendship? Other than my beloved Sex and the City of course- that's kind of a female buddy comedy but still it's not the same as, well here's a list of some of my favorites:

1. Wedding Crashers- Vince Vaughn made this movie and he's tops at buddy comedies (Swingers was entertaining).
2. Ghost Busters- it may not count but I think their friendship was key and it was funny to me. I still like watching it.
3. Old School- a bunch of dudes getting together to make a grown up post college fraternity. And it has Will Ferrell (also loved Anchorman)
4. I Love You Man- It's really all about friendship and was very entertaining
5. Superbad- teen buddy comedy, so funny
6. Tropic Thunder- may not be under that category but its an all male cast, being funny, growing by the end of the movie, so falls under it in my book
7. Stir Crazy- Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder-comic fun during the eighties
8. Bad Boys- falls under action but still focuses on their friendship/partnership with lots of laughs
9. Shaun of the Dead- a funny British horror/buddy comedy
10. Orange County- My first Jack Black film which I really liked

Any others? I know there are so many more. Hmm, time to get writing on my screenplay.

Just wondering...

If we didn’t have the TV or the internet what kind of lives would we lead? Would we do things differently? Pursue alternative careers? Take up a hobby? Be more environmentally conscious and able (ie, know how to build, grow foods).

Why is this weather so crappy? If I wanted to live in a rainy, cloudy, humid city I’d have moved to Seattle, at least I heard it’s a pretty cool city!

Why, even after all this time, are there still no minority lead TV shows on network/non cable television? Seriously, you got to pay to find “ethnic” stars nowadays.

I’m beginning to have a feeling we might go to war with North Korea, it’s the first time I actually am not against a war in my life time (I’m feeling some kind of way about the American journalist being locked up and sentenced for 12 years for inadvertently crossing the North Korean border. One is a mother of a young child and the other has chronic health issues).

Why is it that with this economy hotels to certain cities are still pricey even though the flights to them have gone down? Great, I can get there, but where the heck am I going to stay?

Why is it that DC/MD/VA have some of the highest ticket prices and harshest ticketing in the country? I just got a $100 one for a camera speeding. With all the tickets I’ve paid I have hardly any room to give to another charity, I already give to a Federal and State one on what seems a monthly basis. I thought I had free parking but I’m paying a fee anyway…

Why is it that some people are small boned and others are big boned? What is the evolutionary significance? I get why there are differences in the races or why people are tall or short due to environmental adaption but I wonder why some of us are naturally bigger than others from jump start.

Just wondering…

No one on the corner got swagga like us

Okay, so my friends and I were dishing about dating and we fused about how there really weren't any dating guides (or they aren't popular) for men. Women have a new tv show, book, site every month about dating. Sure men have books and shows about how to be players or be less of a tool but that's not the same as your average guy book about meeting Ms. Right. Is it because guys are too cocky to believe that they would have some flaws in dating? Why is it that women have to change or accept but it seems men don't?

However, my girls and I thought if were ever actually asked by a guy for some dating advice it would be for a guy to get some swag! A guy with swag can turn his dating value up several notches. Some guys, who've I told this to, seem to believe that it means women only want a bad boy. But there is a difference between a bad boy and a good guy with some self confidence and charm.

I liken the need for swagger in a guy to that of a woman looking her best. You need something to intrigue the opposite sex. If a woman went out to the bar with a muu-muu, a head scarf and bushy eyebrows no one is checking her. To me that's equivalent to a guy with no swagger. A guy has to be able to pull in a woman with a charming personality to get her attention. If he's just sitting there blending in the backdrop with a goofy smile he more than likely won't get a second look.

He doesn't need to be a player or give out any game. He can be a nice, sweet guy but he has to have some bravado, that thing that can make a girl think "okay, this guy is fun" or "this guy has my back, can protect me" or "this guy is interesting I want to know more". He has to have something in addition to being able to open the door for you and paying for your dinner.
That's just my two cents.

Nostalgia

I just got back from Puerto Rico and will do a recap later but just saw this clip and thought all those who used to love Saved By The Bell might find this cute!

Mirror Mirror- Playing by Numbers

Is it possible that someone thinks they look like Brad Pitt but to society they look more like Jack Black (not to knock on him but there is a marked difference). I have a friend who prefers to date white men but she believes (I don’t) that she appeals mainly to black men due to curvy figure. Hard place to be in if what you are attracted to isn’t attracted to you. I believe she will meet someone who appeals to her.

See my thought is that you should never judge your looks based on the types of guys/girls you attract. Kimora Lee, Heidi Klum, Selma Hayek are but a few prime examples (lets just say their men hit the jack pot superficially wise). At least I tell myself this. However, if one gets approached by 10 Flava Flav look alikes in a row, one can’t help but want to do a reality “mirror” check to reevaluate the image they are presenting to the world. And more importantly should they change their look to achieve attention from their desired type?

Research shows that people tend to date within one or two points of their looks level (not going to touch the fact that people are rating each other since it should be subjective and this study doesn't count in money or fame status which can make a difference). In the study people were given numbers and then they were to search for partners. Needless to say the higher numbers had an easier time and the lower numbers were the last to pick (just because you're a two doesn't mean you want another two). They were going based on the number ranking of what was hot (not necessarily if they thought the person was hot or not). With that in play, if we didn't have the superficial in the way, would we still end up with the same people? Do we actually (even if subconsciously based on how we act or dress) pick or not pick mates based on how attractive we view ourselves? Is physical attraction a man made mate selection tool (that as we've seen changes with time) or a natural tool of evolution/God's method for us to help choose our mates? And if its the latter are cultural influences in what is deemed attractive throwing us off from finding the right people we should naturally be attracted to?

Music on My mind This month

Of course we have the usual suspect Maxwell's Pretty Wings- but everyone knows that one so I won't post


I actally love this guy which I heard Ed the Celeb shout out in her twitter and I raced to get this song from him on itunes (although his other stuff is good).
Ray Lamontagne- Trouble



I like this song, nothing super special- just cute-
Melanie Fiona-Give it to me right-


I'm not against religious songs I just rarely dig them but Mary Mary always comes through- It's the God in Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmGxUnyxw9g

I heard this song in He's Just that Into You and VH1s Tough Love, I kinda dig it-
Erin McCarley- Love Save the Empty


The Ting Tings, I like them, they are a bit unusual. Their first two songs Great DJ and Shut Up and Let Me Go (used in Apple commercial) were really good. This is their latest- That's Not My Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UX0p7uAW2s

Blaming the Black Man

Just when I thought it was over yet another white woman who ends up being up to no good blames a fictitious black man to hide her crimes. The woman who called 911 to say her daughter and her were car jacked and abducted by two black men had really kidnapped her daughter and taken her to Disney world with some stolen ID. Okay, crime aside, why is it that black men seem to always be the scapegoat of choice for crime dealing white women? Can’t they at least one time say- a balding white dude did it, a fat Mexican did it, an Arab did it- I don’t care- just pick another racist poison besides black men! Can’t they get a break, if just for this year? For Obama at least? I’m just saying!

Random Train of Thought

So I've been MIA becoming addicted to Twitter, editing and re-editing my fiction writing, planning for my trip to Puerto Rico (this time next week I'll be on a plane to San Juan- hoping it doesn't rain the whole time but still glad to get away!), searching for a new apartment (I'm moving closer to D.C. and I think it'll be a positive move), trying not to kill my neighbors (they won't shut the heck up and my sleeping patterns are awful now!), need to get my car repainted (it's been hit, scratched and is starting to irk my nerves every time I see all of its battle wounds), and looking for a new job (the one I have now has worn out its welcome- well except for the pay check part!). The list goes on.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed in my life. I'm just bored. Nothing worst than being bored with ones state of being. I have a lot to be thankful for, don’t get me wrong but I keep having a nagging feeling that I’m “destined for something greater” as the cliché goes. I won’t knock down my city again, it’s just simply not for me. I don’t even know what to do here anymore besides go to the movies and a few fairs/festivals. I’ve lost my mojo here. I joined a social sports group, even paid for the fee, and just don’t want to play. I keep spending my weekends (and gas) driving up to DC to hang with my DC associates because there is so much more going on over there and they initiate and invite me to things. My few friends here who do want to get out, ask me what to do (I guess because I’m the planner usually) and I got nothing for them anymore. Everything just seems like a bust. Maybe the vacation will kick start my spirit again- I don’t want to rest my happiness on the move- I may still feel the same where there but I do believe that change is good and since I’ve never lived anywhere else for any long period of time this might be good for me.

I’m trying to hold tight to my friends here but most of us are simply going our own ways. My mentor/coworker told me once that one of the mistakes she made at my age was holding onto friendships that weren’t meant to last. She would constantly be the one initiating doing things with certain friends and when she didn’t she’d never hear from them. One day she called a friend and asked where they’d been and the friend said sometimes people just grow apart. Here my coworker was thinking they were “true blue, tight like glue” and this “friend” didn’t even consider her. She said, sometimes, people are meant to be friends for a season and you shouldn’t have to force a friendship, if both sides aren’t making an effort, let it go before feelings get hurt. I’ve been there before a few times and don’t want to be there again- but how do you distinguish between the ending of a friendship and a friendship that is still good it’s just that paths are changing?

Still writing

I was advised by a coworker to take up twittering as a way to network since as I've been saying I'm trying to publish my fiction writing. I've joined many groups which is great because it's improved my writing but many of the participants are in the same boat I'm in- trying to get their stuff out there. My coworker, who is a self published author suggested that I follow the "tweets" of some writers I like and maybe network that way since it take such little time (you can only write so much on each posting, maybe a few lines, so they'll be more likely to pay attention). I thought it couldn't hurt, yet this is just another online site I have to keep up with.

This made me think about how much I've publicized already. I started with Myspace (which I've basically abandoned and would close if I didn't still have friends through that site) then I moved over to Facebook and I actually still view that about once a week. Then came the blogging which has been a great outlet for me for about a year and a half now. Then I'm on an online writing group. Now I'm tweeting. Now I don't talk about my everyday life on their- no stalker is going to know what I'm watching every moment or that I'm about to head out to the grocery store. Still I sometimes can't help but feel that all this electronic communication is just work. I mean, not only do I write but I read because this is all an interactive process, you write your stuff, others read it and you read their stuff- that's even more time- enjoyable, but still time consuming.

I was never a phone person and I'm pretty quiet in person (unless I get a soapbox topic) so sometimes staying so connected becomes just another thing on my to-do list. This is especially so because my life is writing. I write (well legal related material) for a living and I write as a hobby so it can get pretty overwhelming.

I want to pare down some of my writing avenues but I actually like visiting them all from time to time (except that Myspace, that's it, I'm turning that off). Well at least this keeps my mind spinning!

As an aside, if you tweet, drop me your tweet address if you want to share or if you want mine.

Hiatus

Hi peeps,
I'm still on my writing break to focus on really getting published but will be monitoring your sites and may post a few times. However, I have another blog called devoted to my writing that I'm focusing on again. Feel free to take a gander/comment if you'd like and if you're a writer and want to share - that's cool too. I mainly post poetry, and chapters from my two completed novels although I also have some stories in the work that I'm feeling out. Of course all work is protected.
http://crazyonpaper.blogspot.com/

Take care!

The Blame Game

I actually posted this on Tuesday but did a double post so not sure anyone saw it (and I'm lazy and don't have anything new to post just this minute)..

So I just watched my new favorite reality show Tough Love on VHI (Sundays at 10pm) and was particularly involved with the story line of the 39 year old single successful and beautiful woman. She had connected quite well with a man that the match maker set her up with. They’d been going on a few dates until he asked the dreaded question all women hate to hear “Why are you still single?”.

When you are young this question is just random conversation in the dating world. “You’re so pretty, you’re successful, I’m surprised some guy hasn’t snatched you up yet.” At 24, you laugh and smile. At 30, you sigh and say “I just haven’t met the right one” instead of what you really want to say “I’m surrounded by losers, the pickings is slim”. At close to 40 you probably, as this woman didn’t, don’t want to talk about it. It’s most likely an especially sore subject by then and one of much frustration. And the guy wouldn’t let it go, instead he says “why haven’t you done match, why havent’ you put yourself out there?” As if he knew how she handled herself or that she would automatically meet someone by doing an online dating site.
As we age, the longer we are single the more society views us as having something wrong with us. No matter what Sex and the City tried to do for the single 30 something (and although I’m not there yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was) the stigma still remains. As the matchmaker told her, it’s almost as if we prefer a woman in her thirties, especially a pretty one with a good personality, to be divorced over never being married. It gives us some sense of understanding of the situation otherwise how could such a woman be single for so long?

This woman dealt with it very calmly around him but when she came back to the shows mansion she kirked out and her fellow single gals had to calm her down. At 39 I’d imagine that having some guy give you the third degree trying to find out what’s wrong with you because you’re single is quite frustrating.I particularly related to her story because I get that all the time and dispise that question with all my might. Guys don’t understand why I’m single and I feel like I have to defend myself when asked. To assure them that nothing is wrong with me because you usually get the next question is: when was your last long term relationship? If the relationship was long ago they make the determination (yes I’ve been asked) that I must not like being in long term relationships. Why else would I choose to be single? It’s not that I want to be single it’s that I don’t want to be in an unfullling relationship. Why date for the sake of dating? And who feels like, every time they date, going into the long spiel about how they just haven’t found the right one, the past guys were jerks, the area doesn’t have a lot of eligible men and so forth.

Dating becomes less about a fun time to hopefully lead to a relationship and becomes more of an intense interview for a competitive job. So yeah, she kirked out and I get it!

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Violence in the Time of Economic Down Turn

We’ve heard about the gunman that killed eight people, blaming it on the loss of his job and the man who is robbing convenience stores with his child along due to losing his job and the list goes on. History shows us that violence and economic suffering go hand in hand.

There are few peaceful very poor countries. During the time of the Great Depression lynchings against blacks rose. And it makes sense.

When you are without money you become desperate which causes you to take on options you never thought you would. I was watching some show about how more corporate women who have been laid off are now going to stripping to earn a similar amount of money. Cop killings are also on the rise.

There is the frustration that no one can do anything and no one cares. Unfortunately these killers are taking it out on the wrong people. Innocent people who have no control over their situation. Not that I’m encouraging them to attack wall street workers or bankers. Yet this was a concern at the G20 summit in London where wall street workers were encouraged not to come into work that day due to protestors.

Until this economy goes for the better and jobs are regained I don’t think that we’ll see a change. If it doesn’t change then maybe small town middle America will become a place where you lock your doors at night and hold tight to your purses walking down the street, not just the big cities.

The Blame Game

So I just watched my new favorite reality show Tough Love on VHI (Sundays at 10pm) and was particularly involved with the story line of the 39 year old single successful and beautiful woman. She had connected quite well with a man that the match maker set her up with. They’d been going on a few dates until he asked the dreaded question all women hate to hear “Why are you still single?”.

When you are young this question is just random conversation in the dating world. “You’re so pretty, you’re successful, I’m surprised some guy hasn’t snatched you up yet.” At 24, you laugh and smile. At 30, you sigh and say “I just haven’t met the right one” instead of what you really want to say “I’m surrounded by losers, the pickings is slim”. At close to 40 you probably, as this woman didn’t, don’t want to talk about it. It’s most likely an especially sore subject by then and one of much frustration. And the guy wouldn’t let it go, instead he says “why haven’t you done match, why havent’ you put yourself out there?” As if he knew how she handled herself or that she would automatically meet someone by doing an online dating site.

As we age, the longer we are single the more society views us as having something wrong with us. No matter what Sex and the City tried to do for the single 30 something (and although I’m not there yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was) the stigma still remains. As the matchmaker told her, it’s almost as if we prefer a woman in her thirties, especially a pretty one with a good personality, to be divorced over never being married. It gives us some sense of understanding of the situation otherwise how could such a woman be single for so long?

This woman dealt with it very calmly around him but when she came back to the shows mansion she kirked out and her fellow single gals had to calm her down. At 39 I’d imagine that having some guy give you the third degree trying to find out what’s wrong with you because you’re single is quite frustrating.
I particularly related to her story because I get that all the time and dispise that question with all my might. Guys don’t understand why I’m single and I feel like I have to defend myself when asked. To assure them that nothing is wrong with me because you usually get the next question is: when was your last long term relationship? If the relationship was long ago they make the determination (yes I’ve been asked) that I must not like being in long term relationships. Why else would I choose to be single? It’s not that I want to be single it’s that I don’t want to be in an unfullling relationship. Why date for the sake of dating? And who feels like, every time they date, going into the long spiel about how they just haven’t found the right one, the past guys were jerks, the area doesn’t have a lot of eligible men and so forth.

Dating becomes less about a fun time to hopefully lead to a relationship and becomes more of an intense interview for a competitive job. So yeah, she kirked out and I get it!

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip

Music on My Mind This Month

Some of these songs are new, some aren't but I just go with whatever catches my spirit at the moment.

Therapy- India Arie- I just love her and this song makes me happy!

Brandy- Right here (Departed) Although it’s a bit old (came out in 2008), I was reintroduced to it and it's another hopeful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeoVHUQuzR0

Knock Me Down- Keri Hilson, with NeYo and Kanye, what a great collaboration. And Ms. Hilson is making me want to chop my hair off again ( but maybe I'lll just get a short weave).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF5Q1jr28PM

Ayo- Life is Real- Another old one (but I really feel for neo sould sometimes it takes a minute for some to get on the bandwagon because its hard to find)- and I love songs set in Africa

Mos Def- Life in Marvelous Times- heard this song in commercials for this weeks episode of House which my boy Mos Def guest stared in so had to hear the whole song. (side note, why do I understand him better when he raps then when he actually speaks?)

Kid Cudi- Day and Night- this is such a simple sounding rap which I like. I prefer to hear the words. I actually like the dance remix as well so I have both here. You'll found that the "black" radio versions play the regular one and the "white" radio stations seem to only play the dance remix version (much like is done with Kanye's Heartbreaker, dunno why). I likes both.

original


remix


Kevin Rudolf- Welcome to the World- a good jogging song

Random Things

Sorry I've been M.I.A. I've been getting back into my fictional writing trying to get it published worthy.

Get me for my paper

If the US Post Office stops delivering mail on Saturdays they could save 3 billion dollars a year. I’m all for saving money especially on that scale. I don’t think I’d be too broken hearted if I had to wait till Monday. Now if we could get them to stop delivering junk mail and unsolicited mail that would be wonderful- wonder how much money that would save.

The Popos put you on blast

In some state (forgot where) prostitution is a big problem so the police are considering sending letters home to the wives of men who are caught with a prostitution. Now obviously this is controversial. Some men feel that is an invasion of privacy but women would want to know if for nothing else, health concerns. Here’s how I see it. Should a man be hiding from his wife that he is going to court on a solicitation of prostitution charge? How can you hide that from your wife anyway? And you’re a jerk if you try to hide it. Now some men feel this is a whole guilty until proven innocent (I mean they could have simply been giving a poor prostitute a ride home and nothing more). Well fine, explain that to the wife and leave it to her to believe you or not. I’m sorry, but I’d like to know if my husband has been arrested. I’m not for keeping secrets in a marriage especially ones of those caliber. And seeing that technically adultery is still illegal (although no one brings it to court anymore) that’s not necessarily the husbands right to keep it quiet. If he was arrested for murder or some other heinous crime that wouldn’t be kept quiet so why should this? I’m just saying…

Too Bootilious for you baby

So a friend stated that bigger (and in his mind big is size 6/8 and up) black women could not attract really good looking white men because they (white men) don’t like that size. Now seeing as most black women are that size and up he basically states that most white men who are attractive wouldn’t like black women. I told him he was wrong and gave examples, he didn’t believe me and wanted to challenge me saying that those men only wanted to sleep with black women but weren’t interested in seriously dating them or marrying them. I stopped arguing, feeling the whole thing was not only offensive but futile and labeled him an ass.S ince I had given up being annoyed at people for lent lets just say I fell off the wagon. Some people deserve to be beat in the head severely with a verbal assult.

Tough Love: Girl does not meet boy

I was watching this show with a guy friend of mine and this beautiful woman in her mid thirties stated that she had never been in a serious relationship and he did not get how that could happen. I told him it was a lot easier than he thought. I know a good amount of women in their thirties who haven’t dated in almost a decade. Now I’ve been single for an ion but I can at least say I have had the fortune (or some times misfortune) to consistently date but I get how a woman, even one that looks like Halle Berry with a Michele Obama intelligence and a Oprah personality, can be single for a long long time. So I ask you:

Where the men at?

If you are in a situation where you don’t work, live or worship around eligible men, you’re kind of in a rut. Outside of school, we rarely are in situations on a consistent basis where we are around eligible bachelors. You are kind of limited on possibilities except for rare fluke encounters at the store or gym.

So, I gotta ask, where does a single gal go? The idea of doing something just to meet a man doesn’t sit well with me but I understand that you have to put yourself in places to be seen as well. Which leads me to my new favorite reality show: Tough love. Which is basically a dating boot camp headed by this male match maker. Eight beautiful women, ranging from 21 to 38 are given dating overhauls to try to find what they are doing wrong. Maybe it's not that men aren't out there, maybe they are putting off a vibe that runs the good ones away. For some it's obvious: there's the cold one, the one who constantly talks about marriage, the one who wants to be save a dude, the partier, the gold digger. But there were some women I could relate to, particularly the woman who had a fairy tale idea of what she wanted and the woman who put up a cold facade. Nothing like seeing a characteristic you can relate to on another person to make you take a second look at yourself.

The show is by the creators of He's Just Not That Into You and I think I'll follow it to see if it's actually possible that I might learn something too. Though I'm not ruling out the idea that Baltimore is limited in eligible singles, I know that I can't change my surroundings so maybe by reevaluating what I can change (myself) maybe I might start attracting the the type of men I really want to date. We'll see.