Is it possible that someone thinks they look like Brad Pitt but to society they look more like Jack Black (not to knock on him but there is a marked difference). I have a friend who prefers to date white men but she believes (I don’t) that she appeals mainly to black men due to curvy figure. Hard place to be in if what you are attracted to isn’t attracted to you. I believe she will meet someone who appeals to her.
See my thought is that you should never judge your looks based on the types of guys/girls you attract. Kimora Lee, Heidi Klum, Selma Hayek are but a few prime examples (lets just say their men hit the jack pot superficially wise). At least I tell myself this. However, if one gets approached by 10 Flava Flav look alikes in a row, one can’t help but want to do a reality “mirror” check to reevaluate the image they are presenting to the world. And more importantly should they change their look to achieve attention from their desired type?
Research shows that people tend to date within one or two points of their looks level (not going to touch the fact that people are rating each other since it should be subjective and this study doesn't count in money or fame status which can make a difference). In the study people were given numbers and then they were to search for partners. Needless to say the higher numbers had an easier time and the lower numbers were the last to pick (just because you're a two doesn't mean you want another two). They were going based on the number ranking of what was hot (not necessarily if they thought the person was hot or not). With that in play, if we didn't have the superficial in the way, would we still end up with the same people? Do we actually (even if subconsciously based on how we act or dress) pick or not pick mates based on how attractive we view ourselves? Is physical attraction a man made mate selection tool (that as we've seen changes with time) or a natural tool of evolution/God's method for us to help choose our mates? And if its the latter are cultural influences in what is deemed attractive throwing us off from finding the right people we should naturally be attracted to?
Monday, June 1, 2009
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3 comments:
I think that everyone should view themselves as beautiful and seek what they view as beautiful.
With that said, I too know people who believe they are the finest thing to walk the earth and will tell people they won't date anyone who fits into their standards.
And when you look at them you think, you should be happy for whatever comes your way.
One thing about choosing a mate is you want someone who will make you happy. And if a fat man is unattractive to you, dating one will not make you happy at all. Eventually, you will cheat or leave.
I had a point but forgot it after all this rambling. Sorry.
The way we view ourselves DEFINITELY has an impact on who we choose has mates. That's why these decidedly unattractive men end up with the gorgeous woman. These guys think they are "the bomb" which radiates and attracts the pretty girl.
Good questions. I'm also sometimes blown away by the fugly/drop-dead gorgeous pairings I see. One popular theory of relationships is that they involve a trade-off. One person brings beauty to the table, and maybe the other brings brains or success or social standing or a great personality. Observing from the outside, we don't know what the trade-off is; all we see is one helluva lucky girl or guy and one who is apparently not too picky.
They say that the traits we consider beautiful are an outward demonstration of our reproductive ability, so I guess it really is Mother Nature's way of advertising ideal mates. But I'm glad that we don't just blindly follow our instincts because some of the smartest, most influential people in history haven't exactly been lookers. What a shame it would've been if their genes had been eliminated from the pool just because they weren't easy on the eyes!
Unfortunately, I think it's true that a lot of us assign ourselves to a "league" based on our perceived attractiveness. But after witnessing so many of these physically imbalanced pairs, I've realized that anything is possible, so I don't sell myself short if I'm attracted to a guy who might be objectively hotter than I am.
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