I’ve never been a skinny girl. Never been fat or chubby either but I’m curvy enough to wonder what it would be like if I was a skinny girl.
As I’ve gotten older I have found that more and more of the friends I hang around (of all races) are thinner than the girls I hung out with when I was younger. And thinner than me. In high school I was either a smaller sized girl or pretty average to most of the other girls. When I got in college I noticed the girls, again of all races, were much, much thinner than I could have imagined.
My size 8 was looked at as a full figure. Which is easy to do when ones roomate was actually somewhere between a size 0 and size 2 on a bad day. Other girls swam around size 4s and 6s. On a good day, I am a size 6. A really good day. In college it was easier to stay thinner when you had thin girls all around you and the food at the college was pretty healthy and tasty.
Enter law school. A nightmare of three years and a time where, somehow, my usual thirty minutes of working out three times a week didn’t do crap for me. By the time I graduated the horrendus affair I was a size 10. I didn’t even see it happening.
And that’s where I stayed until I started hanging around skinny girls again and then we had the audacity to plan a trip to Rio de Janiero Brazil . Home of the string bikini and many a Victoria ’s Secret model. This girl started working out and cutting out bad food like no tomorrow. I got back to a good size 7/8 and on a good day, a really good day, a size 6. And am still there.
But still among the thinner of my friends, by comparison I still look like the full figured gal. Again, when you have friends who wear size 2s and 4s, there is no competing. And I don’t plan to. They don’t look bad that skinny. Their bone structure allows for it. I on the other hand would be pushing the limit of what is attractive if I sunk below a size 6. Skeletor comes to mind. I am big boned. It is what it is.
But I must say, sometimes going out with the skinny girl is a blow to the ego of a fuller girl because the skinny girl always gets the looks, at least first. Thin is in, if it wasn't why do we continue to aspire to be thin? Not simply just fit. A skinny girl with an okay face seems to have an easier time than a plus sized gal with a really cute face. I’ve seen it plenty of times.
I’m not saying that the fuller or even average girl gets no love however, if she’s out with the skinny girl (and by skinny I’m not lumping in here dangerously sickly frail people, I’m talking hollywood thin) my observations have shown time and time again that the skinny girl will usually get the attention first. Oh, and if she’s blond AND skinny well she’s got it made. Polls still show that a thin blond blue eyed woman is the most attractive to the majority of men (we can talk racial preferences another time).
And although most guys I encounter say they like a little “cushion”, just how much cushion are they talking about?
Beyonce or Queen Latifah? Because, in reality, not many of us are even Beyonce’s size. Heck Beyonce is hardly her size. I thought she had a cute figure before she stepped out on her own. Yet she lost weight anyway. And even Rihanna, who was thin already, lost a lot of weight which aided in her cross over appeal for her later albums (well, that and a fly hair cut). And there are countless others who have lost “unnecessary weight” in order to be more appealing.
The word “average size” has a new definition as the years go by because our society is getting larger. So while in my mind average means not too skinny and not chubby. The average woman in America is size 14. By that notion, I am not averaged size. But I’m hardly thin.
Yet size is a social and cultural construct. In one country my size 7 might be a size 12. And among certain communities I am considered skinny (my coworkers roll their eyes and have literaly thrown things at me when I say I need to lose weight) but among my skinner friends I am average sized and a 14 is overweight/above avearage.
My reality has shown that a skinny girl gets a better reaction superficially than larger or even average sized girls. However, sometimes I wonder whether women lose weight for each other, themselves or men. Is there a size men prefer as opposed to a size women wish they were? For example, would men want us all to have a J Lo body but are women actually aspiring to an Angelina Jolie body?
Sigh, sometimes I think the media is the worst thing ever invented. Did women in the 1700s have this issue?
6 comments:
I would think 14 is more on the larger side so that was a little surprising. Even tho, most Americans are severely overweight so maybe even while that may be an average, its still not the place to be.
I'm under the impression that body image stuff would be around whether or not there were a media; it just makes it more pervasive.
You got to be comfortable in your own skin.
I am a thin girl but not that thin. . 2 or 4.
I wouldn't want to be that thin either.
I think curves are nice. And having some meat is too.
I am always telling my daughter who is 13 and filling out to love how she looks.
And I think it depends on race. . .if that is the proper word I am looking for.
I recently told a coworker who was complaining about the size of her hips and behind to quit trying to compare herself to white girls. We are built different.
We got behinds.
I just want to stay in shape. I think what is best is that whatever your shape or size try to keep it toned.
as a bruh - i am a propnet of firm posterior ethics
I've always been a so-caleld skinny girl, though I don't beleive I fall into that category anymore. Regardless, I have found myself dateless and not attracting much attention many times I've gone out and went several years single without much serious interest from the opposite sex.
On the contrary, I have known many bigger girls, who seem to have no problem pulling in men. I once had a best friend in high school who was bigger than me and able to get any boy she wanted. I chucked it up to her outgoing personality (I was always the shy girl). So I don't always think its the skinny girls who get guys. And plenty of girls carrying extra pounds also have had their pick of men.
Second, you are NOT a big or "fuller" girl. I would easily put you in the thin category beside myself. So I really don't think you need to feel insecure about it. You have a nice shape and never would I consider you big.
I remember a study that got a lot of attention a few years ago. Men and women were shown drawings of different female figures and asked to pick their ideal. The men consistently picked a figure that was quite a bit fuller than the one the women chose. So I guess the answer to the question is that J. Lo wins out over Angelina. :)
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