The Pursuit of Happiness: Can you make a dream a reality in this society?

You ever have a side of your life that you want to explore or a dream you want to achieve but the process to get there is so difficult or risky? Maybe you want to act, sing or open up your own business. Or maybe you find the place you are living in is not bringing you the excitement you’ve always craved. There is something you want to do that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and decisions must be made. You want to buy a house since this is a buyers market but you also want to move out of the state to find whatever happiness. You want to pursue that catering business you’ve dreamed of but your highly lucrative career makes you put in so many hours you’d have to quit to pursue that dream.

What do you do? We’re encouraged in our society to follow our dreams but real life forces us to put them on the back burner. Buy that house to build that equity even though that may mean you can’t move to L.A. like you wanted or travel to Australia like you dreamed.

It would seem too easy to have everything we wanted. Life, at least in my twenty something odd years of experience, seems to be more of an either/or. Only in college was I able to do drama while at the same time being involved in student government. Sure in the “real world” you could be a professional and take a modern dance class once or twice a week but if dancing is your passion you can’t be a banker and tour with a ballet company at the same time.

But do you give it up for the lure of financial security or even just the idea of making the most money you can make? But who wants to be in their 70s thinking about what they could have been/done/tried? Who wants to live their dreams through their kids (isn’t that the stuff stage moms are made of?)?

The older you get the more pressing is the desire to live the dream. Perhaps you think, after I get married and the kids grow up I can reevaluate my desire to be a film director or open that designer boutique. But deferring a dream is a dangerous thing. You never know what the years hold for you.

So, again, what do you do? I’m of the opinion that you have to make the decision full force. If you want to be a dancer really pursue it. And if it’s more comfortable to set a time limit for success then do so. If you know that the risk is just too great for the realities of your life then you have to be accepting of the decision not to go after that dream. No regrets. Not pursing a passion can eat at you if giving it up was not your decision. Another alternative could be compromising. If you can’t be in the ballet tour, would you be fulfilled teaching dance in the evenings after your full time job? Can you work and sing gigs at night or perform in /direct a local theater company?

Ultimately, make the decision alone. Your parents, most likely, will tell you to follow the money. They are coming from a place of love. They don’t want you to suffer. And 9 times out of 10, that’s what they did. But all that makes is a greater population of unsatisfied people. If you must seek outside advice, I’d ask someone who you trust as a mentor. Someone in the field you want to be in. I have a coworker who is also a published author who gives me some great advice not just about the field but about the outside life matters to pursuing a dream. Make a chart of your goals and weigh them not just on how strong you want to achieve them but also whether it is alright to put them off until later. I desire to buy a house but I actually can live quite happily if I buy the house later in my life than next year. It will be much easier now, as a single woman with no kids, to live the dream of traveling to, say, Egypt than later should I get married and have kids. Buying a house then might actually be easier (especially since I’ll be splitting the mortgage with someone or at the very least have a higher paying salary). Or take the job making the money you wanted to live comfortably or keep the lower paying one for now and have the freedom to do pursue other interest at the same time.

Whatever your decision make sure it’s one you can live, and inevitably, die with.