You ever accomplish something, reach a goal or certain level and bask in the shine of making it only for it to quickly be overshadowed by thoughts of “what’s next?”. My coworker termed this the “now what” phase. People, I am in that phase and holding strong.
I’m still in my twenties but it will be leaving me sooner than I’d like to have it and I feel like I need to prepare. Please God, don’t let me hit 30 still in the same place I was in my 20s (unless of course you’re talking weight/figure, that I wouldn’t mind holding on to, not to sound vain). I made a list of things that NEED to occur in my life by 30 for me not to fall into an immediate depression. Okay, not all these things need to happen but at least one of them occurring might keep me out of therapy:
Buy a new house,
Move to a new city,
Marriage or something heading towards it
Obtain a certain salary/job level,
Have a trip to South Africa or Italy already in the works,
Publish one of my novels.
Change is good and I need it. I can foresee myself at the end of a proverbial cliff. Not challenged by my job, ready to move, dying to live in a new city if only for a couple of years and of course I would like to get married (not yet really into the kid thing yet- I just saw a make over show on Oprah and all the women looked so old and they all had one thing in common- they had kids- granted they were single mothers, but it was not an advertisement for having kids I tell you! But one day).
Anywho, I am not sitting here drumming my fingers on the desk and talking with no action. I am a woman on a mission and I am trying to get my dreams realized. I have started a housing saving account, applied to jobs in other cities (including some in Europe- DYING to live in London, studied abroad there and big thumbs up to that town even with it’s craptacular weather- how those people remain so darn chipper is beyond me but it was infectious!). I am working hard on my novels and forcing friends to read it for feedback and plan to start sending my work out (for the hundredth time) to agents by summer’s end, my current job will give me the salary I’m looking for by 30 but it’s all about the challenge and not taking the easy route (which only leads to my laziness which is a no-go). Finally South Africa and Italy are still on my radar and have researched the cost. Would love to visit one for my 30th B-day. The marriage thing- well, that’s out of my hands. I can be the best me and just hope along the way someone else (who I’m into) sees the best in me too.
In any event I had to make the decision to, as us colorful southern’s like to say, “Piss or get off the pot”. So I’m making moves people- see ya on the fly!
P.S.- Have you ever been in the now what phase and if so what have you done or plan to do to make a change?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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1 comment:
Cat, it really impresses me that you have all your goals mapped out like that! So many people just float through life without a clue where the current is taking them.
That said, 30 is looming over my head, too, and honestly, I think we all stress about it too much. We've bought into the quarter life crisis thing and believe that we have to have our lives set by then. But so many successful people didn't reach their peak until well into their 30s, 40s, even 50s! I just wish we could all put less pressure on ourselves and take pleasure in continuously working toward the goals without having a deadline in mind.
Oh, and good for you that you're submitting your novel! :) Good luck with it. I wish I had the dedication to even begin mine. :O
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